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Stillers-Doncos Postgame Analysis and Grades

November 26, 2018 by Still Mill

Doncos 24,Stillers 17……. Nov 25, 2018…………Game # 11


Stillers-Doncos Postgame Analysis and Grades


The Stillers went out to their modern day house of horrors, and as happened continuously since 2009ish, they laid the egg with a rabid variety of blunders, boners, and horrific mistakes, en route to losing to a vastly inferior Donco club.  




QB:   Shitlesberger had a nice game on PAPER.   On paper.   Gaudy stats of 462 yards.   But there were 2 hideous INTs, including the late-game INT from the 2 fuking yard line on THIRD down, where you simply CANNOT, EVER, throw an INT.   EVER.    He gets kudos for hanging in there, in his own EZ, and hitting Ju on the 97 yard TD pass…..but that sorry-assed INT was unacceptable.   The TWO wasted TOs in the 3Q are also unacceptable, given his tenure and the veteran nature of this offense.    D




Conner -  For reasons still unclear, the Stillers shucked the ground game right from the get-go of the game, so Conner had little work.    He did have 53 yards on 13 carries, and 4 grabs for 42, but it was a needless, senseless, brainless fumble, in OPEN field no less, that helped piss this game away.   The fumble was brutal, as he was in OPEN field, with just 1 man tackling him, and he coughed the ball up like a Pez dispenser.   Very poor.    C- 


Samuel - played only sparingly.   Had a nice RAC on a short grab, 1Q.    


Ridley - not sure if he ever got on the field on O.




Nix - Provided some nice lead blocks when used;  not used much at’all.      



Brownie – had a mediocre game, averaging a piddly 7.4 YPC on 9 grabs.   I thought he was lazy and complacent on a deep out, late 4Q, in which he failed to get 2 feet down on a rather routine play.    He pass attempt on a gimmick play was beyond awful.    When’s the last time he practiced throwing a pass……back in 9th grade?   This was fuking putrid.   Sure, he was getting extra attention……what else is new?     Not good enough today.     C


JuJu - made the big play on the 97 yard TD grab and run.    Had a remarkable 13 grabs, good for 189.       A+


Heyward-Gay – nothing.   


Wash - had a chance to actually do something, as he was thrown a deep lob in the 2H and was WIDE open.  Instead, like a jackass, he LEAPT too early, and didn’t need to keep/dive at all, and the result was the ball jarring loose as he hit the ground, negating a huge play.     Very poor.    C- 


Switz - Had 6 grabs for 67, moving the chains on a few of these.    B+    




Jesse James - after having no grabs last week, at least the offense got him the pill today, with 4 grabs for 35.     


McDonald - had 3 grabs for 27, but dropped a sure TD, and also was flagged for OPI.   Also got nicked up and missed some time.


Grimble - grabbed a short pass and had an ACRE of open room, and lumbered toward the pylon.   Just as he was about to cross the GL, he was issued a lick by a SMALLER man (a DB) and coughed up the pill, which rolled OOB in the EZ for a crushing turnover and touchback.   Just crushing.  You cannot piss away 7 points (counting the PAT) with a shit-eating fumble at the GL like this.    F.  


OL:  Overall, the line blocked acceptably.   Okorafor, the rookie, got the start at RT, and played adequately.     I wasn’t all that pleased with FatAss Maurkice Pouncey, who got roller-bladed BACK INTO the QB on the 97 yard TD play.     A split second more, and this could have been an safety, or an INT off of a jarred QB.    A shoddy play by the over-rated Pouncey.   



Hargrave - solid all-around game, following up a good game last week.   The one negative is how the Doncos were able to repeatedly GASH this defense on the ground.   B-


Heyward – Chipped in some, and had a half sack, but again, far, far too quiet for a guy as vaunted as this fellow.  C  


Tuitt – The Notre Dame pansy sat out.   Again.   


Alu - Did little.     C-


Walton -  not much.   C-



Vinnie– Had a big sack on a 1st down run blitz, but otherwise was far too quiet.     The D getting gashed by the Donco ground game was a good bit of his responsibility.      C


Bostic - fairly horrendous game.   Finished with only 3 solos, and was continually getting abused on both passes and runs.    He played the GW TD run like complete dogshit.    D.  


Fort- why does this pissass get so much PT ?  


Watt - injured his hand, 1H, and had to go to the locker room.  Returned, but was not much of a force.    C


Crud DuPree - Hold your laughter, please…….this over-rated pilo shit was held off the stat sheet…..!   LMAO !!      Did NOTHING the entire game.    F.   


Chickillo -  saw some PT, and did little.     Very disappointing.     C




Davis - took some poor angles, and never once provided help on deep balls.    Very poor.      D+ 


Senslessbaugh - didn’t get humiliated, but did little.     Not nearly good enough, and now he’s set to be EXPOSED by Rivers, Brady, and Brees.    C+


Haden -  continually got tooled DEEP by Sanders, and never learned…..!!     What a dumb fuk !!      Another fellow who is going to get abused badly during this Rivers-Brady-Brees stretch.      C-


Artie Burned - still glued to the pine.    


Hilton - Surprisingly quiet today, again, which also occurred last week.    Puzzling.    


Burnett - saw a ton of PT.   Busted up a 3d down pass.    Did little else.    C+ 


Edmunds - chipped in with 8 solos.   Again, I have my doubts, but perhaps he is improving, as this heavy activity might show.      B


Spec teams:   

Jordan Berry – had 3 decent punts, albeit this was in the thin air of Denver.   B


Boswell – Had an early FG blocked, although it was not his fault.     Booted 1 FG, and fired a perfect strike to Villa for a TD off a fake FG.   Hey, perhaps Bos should QB the team once they are deep in the RZ.    


Switz - coughed up a 2H punt return, altho luckily the Stillers recovered.   


The blocked FG still enrages me, as they allowed a man to, while standing FLAT FOOTED, hop over the A-B gap and pounce in to block the FG.    Surely Denver SAW this flaw on film, and shrewdly exploited it.     There were also the avalanche of flags on PIT spec teams.    When does POS Danny Smith get fired ??? 



OC:    Simply put, just as I said last week Randy Sphincter is completely in over his head.    Just clueless.    The wasted TOs.   THEN, the plays coming out of the wasted TOs, which were fuking wretched once again today.   Then, there was the shit-eating 3d & goal shovel pass play, which Denver surely had seen on film at least 26 times, and they engulfed it, JUST LIKE Jax did last week.    They had to resort to a trick play by the FG unit to score the 1 TD.      I fuking despised the 1st & goal sequence on the final possession.   DESPISED.     The 1st down play was a schoolyard, grab-assed FADE that clearly had no set-up.     Then the 2nd down run, which took like 4 seconds to get going, and then got engulfed.   And then the fateful 3d down play, which was a fuking disaster right from the snap.    ALL these WEAPONS, and Sphincter is reverting to some bullshit laden gimmickry on that 3d down.   Where the fuk, for example, is a slip-out by JAMES, who is 6 foot fuking SEVEN ???!!      Just a fuking abortion.    F. 




Keith Assler had his weekly luxury, this week getting to face a mediocre QB in Case Creamum.   Just like last season, of course, when Assler has enormous struggles handling Keenum, he again has struggles today.      He failed to have his front 7 lady for Keenum’s mobility.    Worse, he failed to prepare for the Donco ground game, which gashed Assler’s vaunted defense all game long.   This is now TWO weeks in a row where Assler’s D has been gashed on the ground.   And, of course, ZERO turnovers created, which is quite normal for a flaccid, sorry-assed defense of Assler.     D+



HC:  Mike Asslin lucked out last week, pulling out a game he had no business winning.   It caught up to Asslin today, as his team pissed away one opportunity after another, with a rabid variety of turnovers, boners, and penalties.      Along with shoddy ball security, there’s the meek, flaccid defense that produces…..ZERO turnovers.   ZERO big licks.  Just complete shit and vomit, all over the field.       The league has figured out Asslin’s softee defensem and unless he makes some adjustments, they’re on the way to getting assraped in Dec.     D 


Synopsis:   A shit loss against a shit opponent, which is par for the course in the Mike Aaslin era.     Just as I wrote last week, “  Denver does suck, but you can expect a variety of struggles out there in mile-high country.”   Sure as shit, Asslin finds a way to piss away a highly winnable game.   The Stillers dominated yardage and TOP, yet managed to fritter away this game with silly-assed turnovers, RZ grab-ass, cutest bullshit and play calling, and no forced TOs.     Now on to face the Chargers and Rivers, who has to be licking his chops at the prospect of facing this sorry-assed defense.     



(Still Mill and -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….) 

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