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Loose Slag on Stiller-Falcs Tape Scrub

August 13, 2001 by Still Mill


Loose Slag on Film Scrub of Stillers-Falcs(Aug. 12th, �01)

First off, let me apologize for the tardiness of this report.Those �old-timers� who frequent this site know that my post-game reports are almost always done the nite of the game.�� As punishment for my tardiness, I�ll read the new book, �Out of work and out of his mind:The Kevin Gaypride Story�.��

I won�t provide the overly comprehensive report that I do during the regular season, because, frankly, it�s not worth my time, nor yours, to comment on the work of the plethora of scrubs who play in these early preseason games.�� My comments are:

- First and foremost, we can all chuckle over the nice propaganda effort Cowher and Co. did in selling fans this BS of �a new offense�.��� New offense, my @ss.It�s the same old offense this team has run for years.�� You can put whipped cream on sh!t, but it still tastes like sh!t.So it is with this �new offense�, which stunk like manure until the 3rd and 4th stringers duked it out in the 2nd half.�� Here is the one �innovative� change made my new OC Mike Mularkey:he used this goofy formation 2 or 3 times, in which a TE was flanked closely by another TE serving as a wingback (WB), and the WB was flanked by 2 WRs.All 4 of these players were close enough that they could fit into a phone booth.�� Mularkey is apparently under the mistaken impression that he can either generate open pass routes off picks, or get a mismatch on running plays at that point of attack.The reality is that any good defense will have 1 man blow up 2 or 3 of those receivers with 1 good smash at the snap of the ball, and the reality is that Bettis is too slow to get around end & capitalize on this scheme.The objective for Mularkey should be to SPREAD the offense (see in today�s PG for a superb article on what Pitt is doing), not bunching all 11 players along an 18-foot front.�� Other than this imbecilic new formation, all we saw from the 1st and 2nd teams was a plethora of 4-yard curls and an offense that totally ignored its #1 receiver (Burress) the entire 1st half.

- Speaking of SOS (same old sh!t), Kordell Stewart threw 98% of his passes off his BACK foot, a problem that has haunted him for, oh, about 6 years now.�� This was clearly evident in the 2nd series, when he threw a bomb off his back foot that was woefully underthrown.�� I do not know what the QB coach, Clements, does, but apparently working on mechanics is not part of Clements� job duties.

- Mister �Pass Catching TE�, Jerame Tuman, stayed in to block on one play and got thoroughly ABUSED by a LB, who sacked Stewart.This was easily among the top 5 WEAKEST pass-blocking efforts I have ever seen in my life.��

- The Pierogi Boy, Tom Myslinski, was an abomination.�� Imagine former Stiller Christine Conrad with a broken leg, and that�s about how well Myslinski played.On successive plays in the 1st quarter, he whiffed on blocking a DT on a simple plunge, and then looked just as pitiful the next play in getting whipped and giving up a sack.��

- This is no joke...I actually re-watched this one play on tape 5 times.Late in the 2d quarter, we actually completed a pass to Troy Edwards for �2 yards.Not 2 yards, but MINUS 2 yards.�� Troy ran around after the catch and ended up gaining a whopping 1 yard on the play, but the key point is this:exactly what good is it to have a WR running a pattern 2 yards behind the LOS??�� And Mularkey calls this �a change� ???�� Looked like SOS to me.

- Nice work by Amos Zereoue.�� Too bad, come the regular season, he�ll be rotting on the bench during the �running downs� of 1st and 2nd down.

- The brightest spot of the evening?�� Kendrell Bell.�� I recently bought an Earl Holmes jersey.�� After reviewing the tapes, I�m wondering if I should have bought a �97� jersey.Bell was THE MAN versus Atlanta.�� And I�m not talking about Bell stumbling around and getting lucky shoe-string tackles on a bumbling ballcarrier.I�m talking about him, twice, crashing into the backfield after reading the running play, and slamming the RB.�� I�m talking about Bell beating a blocker and sacking the QB within 3 seconds of the snap.I�m talking about Bell moving laterally and belting the living piss out of a RB on a toss sweep.�� I�m talking about Bell starting the game off by getting his bell rung on the opening kickoff, and then later sacrificing his body with a nice diving special teams stab.�� Bell is everything that Big Jason Gildon is not:decisive; willing to hit; a good reader of plays; and willing to do whatever it takes to get to the football.���

- Conversely, Mike Jones looked like a lifelong OLB playing ILB.�� His work was pretty shoddy.�� His worst faults are over pursuing plays, and refusing to take on blockers, preferring instead to go around them.That�s fine for an OLB, but entirely unacceptable for an ILB.�� Given what I saw versus the Falcs, it will be a gross miscarriage of justice if Bell is not in the starting lineup against Jax on Sep. 9th.

- Rookie DE Rodney Bailey showed me a couple nice sparks.�� He beat a blocker with a nice swim move in pass-rushing, and he showed some signs that he has an idea of what a DE should do in the NFL.It�s early, and he was playing against mostly scrubs, but I�d like to see what Beetle does the rest of the preseason.

- Nice coverage and INT by Townsend on one play.�� Heck, even Simmons looked serviceable out there.

- Clark Haggans showed some decent play.�� On one off-tackle running play, Haggans held his ground and made the play.�� THIS is what an OLB is supposed to do in run support.��

- The first-team defense looked pretty weak.I will cut them some slack, becausea.) they were working in some new starters (Clancy and Smith and Jones) and b.)in preseason the base defense is typically simplified, and elaborate blitzes are mostly kept to a minimum, etc.��� That being said, it was a rather sorry pass-harassment effort; the run-stuffing was weak; and it was rather disturbing to see the likes of Chandler and Vick carving up this defense thru the air.�� The test versus Minnesota this Thursday should be most interesting.

- Key to watch for in the Minnesota game this Thursday -� can the starting offense complete maybe 3 passes that travel longer in distance than 9 yards downfield ??


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