Stillers-Skins Postgame Comments

 

Some comments and notes from the Friday night team stink at Foreskin Field, which I had the personal displeasure of witnessing in-person.�

 

Defense:� The overall play of the defense was, quite simply, soft and cheesy.� The Foreskins' O-line managed to open gaping holes, and with shoddy, grab-ass tackling technique by a vast majority of the defense, Portis and Company were able to easily churn out 6-8 yards on many a carry.� The pass pressure was almost entirely weak and feeble.� When your 1st string defense gives up 230+ yard to the Foreskins in the first half, it's beyond embarrassing.� The 2nd-string defense fared little better, allowing the Foreskins to take the ball after the 2H kickoff and march 85 yards for the winning TD on 12 plays in relatively nonchalant fashion.�

 

- The right side of the Stiller defense was absolutely abysmal.� The Skins ran almost at will to their left.� Kimo, Harrison, and Foote spent much of the 1st half imitating traffic cones and were absolute zeroes.� Very, very pitiful.�

 

- If you harbored any conviction -- like Billy Cowhard does -- that Wee Willie Williams is a legit starting CB in the NFL, you should have had any such nonsense wiped away late in the 1Q, when Santana Moss ate Wee Willie alive.� Moss abused Williams on the deep out, and then added insult to injury by making a simple juke and leaving Williams flailing for air in a Gildongesque manner.� A nice, easy 40-yard gainer.� ��

�

- Mike Logan had a rather shameful, half-hearted whiff on the game-winning 10-yard TD run in the 3Q.�

 

- Seeing the game in-person, I was able to get a full-view of the Softee� coverage that Coward loves to employ.� And it was soft�as soft as a baby's ass.� Some will claim that Cowhard is "hiding his coverages" and that "he doesn't want to show his hand".� Pure balderdash.� The time to get young CBs some work in press coverage is now, not in mid-January.� What's particular bizarre is that Ike Taylor and Ricky Colclough were drafted high -- very high, relatively speaking -- all because they had the necessary tools to physically jam and then run with opposing WRs.� And all Bilbo Cohwer has done with them, is treat each as if he's another DeWayne Washington or Sad Scott, playing 11 yards off the ball on nearly every single snap.�

 

- For about 17% of what Big Jason GilDong made, Clark Haggans is playing about 3 times as good as The Gilded Dong.

 

- I really like Troy Pola, but I wasn't fond of his showboating, well before he got to the goal line, on his INT return for a TD.� Run like a demon into the EZ, and then do whatever goofy-assed celebration you may want.�

 

- If Pola gets tackled on an INT return by an opponent grabbing his hair, is it a penalty under the new horsecollar rule�.?�

 

- Allow me to repeat myself from last week:� Jamie Harrison can play the run as well as any OLB on the roster, but if the Stillers want some pass pressure from the OLB spot, Harrison doesn't seem to be the man to be able to do it.

 

Offense:� The offense limped and sputtered along, with the lone bright spot being Willie Parker's 51-yard dash.�

 

- Ben Roth once again looked mediocre.� He was high and spotty the entire 1st half.� Worse, he missed spotting open receivers on at least 3 occasions.

 

- A bigger concern than Roth is the return of the Buttonhook Offense.� It's as if Kevin Gaypride has somehow snuck into the Stiller facility and, after kidnapping WiseHunt, Gaypride is now impersonating an offense coordinator.� I had a full-view of the passing game and the associated pass patterns on Friday nite, and it confirmed what I saw the first 2 preseason games: the entire passing game is nothing more than 10-yard curls, slant, outs, and hooks.� There is nothing -- absolutely NOTHING -- going vertical in the offense, except the occasional, lame decoy route.� Everything is short, and either horizontal or curling back to the QB.�

 

You'll hear the associated blather, much like we did in 1999 and 2000, that "the coaches are hiding the offense" and "the coaches don't want to show their hand."� Again, as in the defense, this is pure bullshit.� We're not talking about hiding the razzle-dazzle triple reverse.� Throwing some passes in a vertical manner ain't revolutionary.� And I'm not talking about heaving 50-yard bombs every play, either.� I'm talking about posts, flags, z-outs, seamers, and so forth, none of which we've seen this entire preseason.� Wisehunt has until Sep 11th to pull his head out of his ass and get some verticality injected into this popgun offense.�

 

- The other concern is the receiving corps.� Randle El and Lil' Cedrick scare NOBODY.� They're both getting smothered, and when they are open, their hands resemble frying skillets. �I'm starting to have nightmares from 1998, when the Stillers allowed Yancey Thigpen to depart.� Allowing Thig to depart wasn't the grievous error.� What was, was doing absolutely nothing to replace the man.� Instead, they simply promoted Pee Pee Hawkins to the starting job.� And so we are, here in 2005, watching this horror show unfold in similar manner.� Allowing Plex to depart wasn't unforgivable.� What was, was doing nothing to replace him, aside from promoting Randle El to near-starter and competing with Lil' Cedrick from the 69ers for the starting job.� It's a small, average-in-speed duo that has a combined 7 years in the NFL without ever making a 40+ yard reception in the regular season.� And supposedly, these are the 2 guys that are going to keep opposing DBs from hawking all over Hines Ward.�

 

- Just a couple weeks ago, Cedrick was so dominant in Latrobe against all of those undrafted free agents, benchwarmers, and rookies that the Pittsburgh media was practically comparing him to, say, Cliff Branch.� Funny thing -- now that's he's had to face real NFL opponents, he looks more like Cliff Claven.�

 

- By the way, the most dominant receiver on the football field Friday nite was Santana Moss.� Randle El and Wilson don't come anywhere close to Moss's adroit quickness, moves, and playmaking.�

 

- The other weapon that was supposed to take some heat off Hines and add some spice to the passing game, was #1 draft choice Heath Miller.� But Miller was, once again, totally ignored in the passing game on Friday nite.� He was thrown one pass, that on a harmless safety-valve dumpoff that netted all of 4 yards late in the 2Q.�

 

- Maybe Matt Kranchick should be worked into the starting lineup, or as a "starting H-back" instead of a 3rd WR.� All the guy does is get open, give his QB a huge, can't-miss target, and catch passes.� He had 2 nice grabs on Friday nite and, on a roster of offensive smurfs, should be a lock to make the team.�

 

- It appears Willie Parker may start at RB in the season opener.� We can all be sure that Billy Cowher will be crapping his pants at the thought of a seldom-used 2nd-year man starting at RB, but remember this: there is no other position in the NFL that routinely and annually sees massive productivity and effectiveness as does the RB spot.� Hundreds of rookies, not counting hundreds more 2nd-year men like Parker, have shined at the RB spot over the years.� At any rate, Parker is the jolt this sluggish, Woody Hayes style offense desperately needs.�

 

- Ward played a decent amount in the 1H and caught another 3rd down pass a full yard short of the sticks.� It will be nice to see Ward extract head from ass before the season begins &/or before he signs a big, mega-million contract.�

 

- V. Haynes did lots of stumbling and has shown none of the high-knee, churning action that he'd shown in previous seasons.� Given Parker's superb showing, Haynes doesn't deserve to get any work, aside from an infrequent breather to Parker.�

 

- Doughboy Bettis pulled a calf while strolling forward for pass protection.� Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that the media fawned and crooned that The Doughboy was in the "best shape of his entire life"�?�

 

ST:

 

- Reed badly hooked a 43-yarder.� Not good.� His kickoffs weren't overly impressive, either.�

 

 

In all, a real weak, half-hearted effort by the entire team, especially the starters.� It's better to lay an egg now than in the regular season, but right now, there are far too many eggs being laid all over the field on both sides of the ball.� And because of the fear of injury, the starters won't get anything more than a token 1-2 series in the preseason finale at Carolina.�

 

Last note:� A special thanks to the Steelers Fan Club of Baltimore for helping with our first tailgate of the season!� Marko, "Tom", and the Steeler Club of Balt. put on a first-rate tailgate.� These guys and gals are great fans who know football, and equally important, know how to tailgate.� They are a first-class bunch and we certainly look forward to linking up with these folks again in the future.� We also enjoyed meeting several of our faithful readers and talking Stiller football.� StillerVA, his buddy Steelers21583, MDsteeler, Zabo, and others made it to the tailgate.� There was also a fan named Steve that showed up with an Oregon Ducks hat, and we immediately assumed it was Oregon Steve, an old standby from the message board.� Alas, it was not, but nevertheless a great time was had by all.� Stay tuned to Stillers.com as we will hold at least a couple more free-beer tailgates during the 2005 season. �For the next tailgate, we'll be sure to provide Steel Diesel with a detailed map of the stadium parking lot, so that he doesn't show up, with all the beer, 90 minutes late.� J �

 

�(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 4 Stiller playoff losses�.)