Stillers 26, Doncos 21..... Sep 20, 2020 …………Game # 2
Stillers-Doncos Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers hosted the hapless Doncos, who had to play the MNF late game, then travel 2000-some miles to face the Stillers in this 1PM tilt. Playing without Von Miller, the Doncos quickly lost their starting QB on the 10th play of the game. The Stiller slopped about in the 1H, but had a seemingly commanding lead of 17-3 at the half. In the 2H, the vaunted Stiller defense got assraped and thrashed, and before ya knew it, the Doncos had the ball at the Stillers 15, down only 5. Luckily, the Stillers dodged a bullet and eked out the W.
QB: Benji had a solid game, going 29 of 41 with 2 TDs. I was enraged, though, with the silly, babyfied LOLLIPOP lob for an INT early in the 3Q, when it seemed like the Stillers were poised to rip off the Doncos necks and kick sand in their faces. Ben had all fuking day in the pocket on this play, and then tried this Koredell-like lollipop lob that floated in the air for eons and was quickly nabbed. Then, on the ensuing series, Ben failed to convert a 3d & 2, and 4th & 2, to help keep the Doncos’ hopes alive. The 4Q TD pass to Dionte was a nice effort off a scramble, but that pass was actually off the mark and could have easily been swatted or picked. Also, in the 1H, Ben thru a shit-laden, hideous pass into the EZ that should have been easily INT’d, but the Denver DB pulled a “Dewayne” and allowed the ball to skiiter thru his hands for an inc. B-
Conner – didn’t do much at all the entire game, until he ripped off a late 59-yard jaunt to help seal the win. His other 15 carries netted a whopping 47 yards. I was fuking furious on the 3d & 1 plunge from the Donco 2 yard line in the 2Q. The daylight was NORTH-SOUTH as Conner got the HO, yet he foolishly, as is his nature, tried to get fuking cute, and he went LATERAL toward RT. The run got engulfed, and the team had to settle for a chickenshit FG. He needed one fuking yard, and the yard was THERE if he takes this NORTH SOUTH. Conner’s problem is that he’s a power back who thinks he has the moves of OJ and Sayers. C
Samuels – played sparingly. Did have a nice, clutch 3rd down grab to move the chains. Am sure he’s not elated at being in his 3rd year in the league and touching the ball once per game.
Snell – Didn’t play a ton, but with the team up 26-12 in the 4Q, and having just gotten golden FP after a safety, Snell got the nod to go in at RB, Sure as shit, this fuking pud-whacker COUGHS up the fuking ball on a routine grasp and tackle, giving the ball back to Denver and giving them life as well. The Doncos promptly turned that into 7 points and the nailbiter was on. Needless to say, Benny Smell didn’t touch the field on offense the rest of the game. Smell fumbled in the 4Q last week as well, and I could just as fuking well bench his ass next week, too, for such a no-brained, hideous boner. F
McFarland – was activated after last week’s coaching fiasco in which he COULD have been activated, but Stoogelin didn’t grasp the new NFL rules regarding if ya dress 8 O-linemen. Didn’t play at’all on O.
FB: Watt played ultra sparingly on O…perhaps 3 snaps. $4M for a FB who plays 3 snaps a game and plays STs. .
JuJu – Had a drop, as did pretty much every skill player, but also had 7 grabs for 48. Showed good 2nd effort on a couple of RACs in the 1H. B
J. Wash - also had a drop. Had 3 grabs for 22.
Dionte - Also had a drop on a key 3rd down in the 2H. Led the way with 8 grabs for 92. Remember that Mill stated last week that Dionte could very well get 100 grabs this season, and he’s on that pace. Made a very nice grab on the TD catch. The downer was his grade school technique on an early jet sweep, which resulted in a fumble over the botched handoff. Exactly how in the fuk does Dionte practice receiving handoffs in practice?? That kind of technique wouldn’t be acceptable at the middle school level, much less the NFL. B+
Claypool – hauled in a bomb, tight roped the sideline, and then outraced defenders for an 84 yard TD! Chase Carpool….he drives down the field with defenders in tow ! He impressed me earlier in the game, and later, with tackles in kick coverage, showing that he’s a playa ! Fer chrissakes, get this man more involved in the O. A+
McDonald – had 1 grab for 3. Blocked adequately, but nothing special. B-
Ebron – had a drop, along with 3 grabs for 43. B
OL: Overall, the line blocked adequately despite missing DeAsstro and Wiz. The rookie, Dotson, started at guard. Okorfor started at RT. The pass blocking was stout and solid; the run blocking was mediocre. Feiler got abused on the lone sack of Ben. Villa was flagged for a hold on a ground play. B-
Heyward – The $65M Man had ONE solo the entire game. He also got bullshit credit for a half sack, when it was Watt who created the play and got the sack. Lotta salcap dollars for this kind of meager contribution. C-
Tuitt – another vaunted DE who did very, very little. In the 1H, he had 0 solos, 0 assists, and 0 nothing. He got a solo on a plunge in the 3Q. That was IT for the entire game. No pressure on the QB; and no nothing of anything worth 2 shits from a hamster. D-
Alu – had 3 solos and 1 A, and got a sack when he swam around his blocker. Now here’s a guy earning his salary. A
Vinnie – had 6 solos and helped limit Gordon, although Gordon was gashing this D in the 1Q. B
Mark Baron – got continuously tooled and SCORCHED by TE Noah Fant in the 2H. Hell, I thought this pilo shit has been released by the Stillers months ago.
Bush – Oh wait, that wasn’t Baron, that was Devin Bush…..! Who knew Bush was so ass-clumsy, inept, and boot-footed that he couldn’t cover a toddler inside a romper room ?? Fuk me Agnes, Bush got savagely EATEN ALIVE by Fant in the 2H. On successive plays late in the 3Q, he gave up a longish TD, and then a 2-pointer, to Fant. And these weren’t plays where the TE had A STEP on Bush….these were plays where the TE had FOUR steps on Bush. And then there was the long juggling catch by Fant in the 4Q, where Bush was AGAIN SCORCHED. Had Denver simply attacked Bush with Fant right from the 1Q, they’d have scored 40, 45, maybe 50 points ! What a pilo fuking shit. THE slowest 4.35 LBer in the history of the NFL. He also should have been flagged for a blatant helmet-hit on the WR, Jeudy, in the 1H. F
Watt – continued his dominating play with a stellar effort. On the 1Q FF by Crud, that was WATT who beat a blocker, and forced the QB from the pocket. This happened throughout the game, and Watt also whipped his man for 2.5 sacks, none of them of the Dong variety. A
Crud Dupree – Anyone remember all the fawning over Crud 6 days ago, from imbeciles who didn’t grasp that Crud was unblocked the ENTIRE game by NY ? Yeah, I remember. Today, Crud was assigned a blocker on just about every day. What did he thus do? Why, jackshit fuking NOTHING. Sure, he had the FF, on a play where Watt beat a blocker and flushed the QB, and where Bud stunted inside, was COMPLETELY UNBLOCKED, and then hit the Qb from the blind side. That was IT for the entire game. He got 1 other slop assist. Did fuking nothing, aside from titty-jousting with the assigned blocker on dozens of pass plays. He also got completely bamboozled on a reverse, good for 9 yards, and had 2 flailing whiffs. Crud was easily CHOPPED down by a solo block, QB boot left, and the QB easily completed a 19 yard pass while Crud was crawling around with his dick in the dirt. But hey, he's so vaunted !! D
Odeniyi – saw some PT spelling Big Bud.
Lowsmith – saw some PT spelling TJ.
Haden – Got tooled and abused more than I would have liked, and was also flagged for a PI, one of what seemed like 18 DPIs during the game. Got a Dong INT when a perfect pass CLANGED off the hands of a WR. Sorry, I don’t fawn over Dong INTs. Got torched on a deep ball, good for 45 yards. C+
Nelson – Also flagged for a PI (as I recall), and had some struggles. B
Hilton – All this guy does is fuking make plays. Just makes plays. What ruined his day was a silly, needless, brainless roughing the QB flag in the 3Q when he jumped into the QB like a complete jackass. B
Edmunds – IN a career first, Eddie actually broke up a pass in the 1H. Stop the presses! Teerrel Edmunds just broke up a sideline pass ! Got picked on again, allowing gobs of easy completions in the 2J. Late in the game, on a 3d &11, committed a no-brained, silly-assed DPI penalty, which, instead of forcing a punt and a likely easy win, enabled Denver to continue its march, down only by 5. He got a Dong Sack on the late 4th and 2 when he rushed in, completely unblocked, for a game-sealing tackle. Sorry, I don’t, and I won’t, fawn over Dong Sacks and Dong Tackles. C-
Minkah - Very quiet, did little. I was appalled late in the 1H, when he allowed a WR to get behind him on a deep bomb. With scant seconds left in the half, you don’t let a fuking soul get behind you, ever. In the 2H, he was flagged for a stupid, needless horsecollar, and also a PI. Very poor. C
Sutton – Saw a goodly amount of PT.
Colquitt – punted just like Jordan Cherry,,,,,in other words, like pure vomit, mixed with rhinoceros shit. An early punt from his GL went all of 35 yards. The team later took a DOG flag to set up a coffin corner punt, but he boomed it into the EZ. D
Boswell – 1 for 1 on FGs.
Dionte – Had a stellar punt return for a TD, but Cam Smutton made a boneheaded, needless push to the back that negated the TD. On a related note, when Denver tried a long FG, the Stillers placed Haden in the rear of the EZ to return the kick if it fell short. Why, praytell, wasn’t this Dionte ??? It’s rather apparent that Dionte is 30 times more electric and shiftier in kick returns than Haden. Made no fuking sense, at all.
RaeRae – had a nice KO return to start the 2H.
Chase Carpool – as noted above, this dude made THREE tackles in kick coverage. To me, that’s every bit as impressive as the 84-yard tightrope TD he had.
OC: Randy Sphincter again oversaw a vast array of slop and stupidity. 3rdand 2, 4th and 2, and there’s no RB on the field to give even a glint of a play-action pass. Ebron, nowhere to be seen in the red zone, even though that’s where he’s truly a dominant mismatch. Numerous passes to WRs, 5 yards behind the LOS, with no blockers in front. 2 of 12 on 3rd downs. All these fuking weapons, and a HoF QB, and this offense is barely scraping by, aided by some golden FP on the INT, plus 2 of the points were by the spec teams. C
Keith Assler had the luxury of facing a BACKUP QB some 10 snaps into the game, along with a woeful Oline and a WR corps that saw the young Jeudy gets bruised ribs in the 1H. The lone INT was a GIFT, courtesy of a brick-fingered Donco WR who allowed a perfect pass to clang off his mitts. In the 2H, the pass pressure was meager, and the Defense got assraped time and time and time again. And in the 2H, they couldn’t get off the field on enviable down-distances……3d & 6, 3d & 8, and so on. Receivers running around WIDE open, often 15 feet away from the nearest defender. Assler managed to make Driskel, a dreg of a backup, into a cross between Johnny Unitas and Roger Staubach. Fuk almighty, Driskel’s agent will save this game tape and use it in free agency. Giving up 18 2H points to this bedraggled offense is inex-fuking-scuable. D-
HC: Mike Asslin allowed a beaten-down, inept visiting team to roar back in the 2H and come within a few yards of the game-winning TD. The rash of assaholic penalties, dropped passed, and other boneheaded miscues was something out of a JV scrimmage, not a supposed playoff contender. 10 fuking penalties for 89 yards, and a rash of FREEBIE 1st downs allowed in the process. 2 turnovers. Time of Possession in favor of the Doncos. It was a complete and epic goatfuk, in particular in the 2H. Instead of kicking dirt in the faces of a downtrodden foe, Asslin allows them BACK into the game ! And then there was the foolish challenge on the Fant reception. The replay, which was shown within 4 seconds of the catch, was plain as day that a catch was made. How fuking stupid must one be to piss away a timeout on this play?? We can all be sure Big Mike will be all proud of this win, as bumbling and unimpressive as it was. C-
Synopsis: Sure, a W is a W. But I’m not going to crow and be all proud over beating a Western team, coming off MNF and flying 2,000 miles, playing without Miller, and then losing its starting QB 10 snaps into the game. They also lost star receiver Courtland Sutton, cornerback A.J. Bouye, RB Phillip Lindsay and defensive end Dre’Mont Jones during the game. Had they lost any more players, the Doncs would probably have had to forfeit. The Stillers led 17-3 at the half, and it should have been a heftier lead. They then led 26-14 in the 4Q, and then pissed most of that comfy lead away quicker than Asslin can botch a replay challenge. Not good. After this pilo shit shitfest, does anyone think this team can compete with Balt, or KC? Vast improvements must be made, and quickly.
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