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The Gildong Report, Nov. 10th

November 10, 1999 by Still Mill

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The Gildong Report

In light of many a fan being bamboozled and ga-ga over Jason Gildongļæ½s 11 sacks last season --- despite only 2 being anywhere near "earned sacks" --- I'm devoting some time this season to monitor the work of the exceptionally average Jason Gildon. Jason has been famous enough with his coverage sacks, flop sacks, the QB-slipped-on-the-wet-turf sacks, the OT totally forgot his blocking assignment sacks, and so on, that the NFL has designated a new statistic, called the "Dong Sack", in honor of Jason Gildong. (Some fantasy football leagues are incorporating this into their point systems.)

Gildon, a man supposedly having "an all pro season", was on the field for every defensive play against an offensive line that had resembled a set of turnstiles all season. He finished with a whopping 2 solo tackles, no assists, and zero sacks. He had 1 QB pressure, in which he came in untouched on a planned shuffle-pass that got botched up. Garcia ended up tossing a short completion to Garner. He batted 1 low Stendstrom pass late in the game. Otherwise, Gildon did squat the entire game. He offered no pass rush pressure at all. Worse, his run stuffing was as soft as Cheez Whiz. The Niners sealed Gildon as easy as a Tupperware container on a couple occasions, allowing Garner to easily cruise around end for big gainers. They also were able to run off-tackle against Gildon with relative ease.

But, "he's so adept at dropping back in coverage", I've been hearing lately. Yeah, he's so adept, that on a 3d & 12 in the 4th quarter, Gildon got easily beaten by Garner for an 8 yard grab, and then flailed and whiffed badly, allowing Garner to scamper away for a 22-yard gain. The next time Gildon makes a play on a downfield pass, it will be his career first.

All in all, this was one of the most wretched, nauseating performances by Gildong in the past 3 years. And, when you combine it with the downright shameful play of his fellow Pitter Pat Brother, Carlos Emmons, you have a performance by an OLB crew that would likely cause Andy Russell to sever any and all association with the team. Emmons was continually, and I do mean continually, shoved any which way the Niners so desired. They mercilessly ran at him, around him, and inside of him, with no more difficulty than a beggar spitting on the sidewalk. This was entirely too reminiscent of the 1st Cinci loss last season, in which Cinci's offense exploited Emmons so badly that the US Attorney General's Office filed suit against the Bengal franchise for criminal exploitation of a man posing as a football player.

We can only hope that Jax and Tennessee do not obtain copies of the film from this game. If they do, they'll see how easy it can be for Eddie George and Fred Taylor to gash us for big gainers against the soft spot of this defense, the OLBs.

Season to date totals for Jason:

Earned Sacks: 2
Dong Sacks: 3.5
Strips, Jars, fumbles caused: 0

The Still Mill 

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