It was Vince Lombardi who
said that only three things were important in life: �God, family, football.�� I believe he may have also added, �and not
necessarily in that order.�� Certainly
when it comes down to God, family & Steeler football, well�..guess which
one wins.� Here�s a few personal examples
of the tug-of-war between this Holy Trinity.
Saturday, September 9,
1989:� I return from vacation and receive
word that my 95-year old grandmother has passed away.� I book a flight to Pittsburgh for the next
morning, and attend my Fantasy Football draft later that evening. My brother
Tony picks me up at the Pittsburgh Airport on Sunday,� September 10, with the season opener a scant
5-hours away for the Bubby Brister led Pittsburgh Steelers.� Nunna�s wake, though, starts at noon, and
runs continuously until 9PM!!!� Tony
& I know what�s on each other�s mind.�
�Okay, how we gonna see the game.��
Sacrilegiously, we enlist my Uncle Oney to bring a 13-inch B&W to
the funeral home.� We set it up in the
back room, and watch the Steelers get pasted by the CleveBrownies, no less,
51-0.� Even an atheist could have
surmised that God was good & pissed off with us that day, hence the
beating.
January 8, 1993,
11:59pm:� My son, Anthony, is born!!� But wait a minute, the Steelers kick off the
divisional playoffs against the Buffalo Bills in exactly 12 hours, 31 minutes.� How do I swing this??� Anthony�s due to be circumcised early on
Saturday�.c�mon Doc, don�t have all day�..please be careful, though,
okay??� Then, the in-laws show up, all
smiles and full of conversation.� Yeah,
yeah, he�s really cute�your daughter�s tired, though, really could use some
rest.� Give the in-laws the bum�s rush
out the hospital�.give the wife some extra medication�.me and my half-day old
son settle in to watch Steeler playoff football.� Can still see O�Donnell throw a pick, fumble�.can
still see Richard Shelton drop a pick with a clear path to the end zone 85
yards away, and then Frank Reich throw a TD pass to James Lofton on the next
play.� Steelers lose (the first of Billy
Cowher�s string of home playoff losses), 24-3.
December 26, 1996:� The best family/football tale of all!!� One for the ages!!
We�re about to drive to
Pittsburgh the next day for our holiday visit.�
The phone rings, �Mom, why you so upset.�� �Your brother Anthony is ruining our holiday
dinner plans, that�s why.�� I�m the
youngest of 4 boys, 2 of whom still live in the Burgh, with me in NH, and my
brother Ronnie in Colorado.� Obviously,
it�s a big deal when one of us come home, and this time Mom plans a holiday
dinner during my stay.� Keep in mind that
the two middle boys, Ron & Ralph, are half-ass fair-weather Stiller fans�.never
giving a shit until the �70s, and giving less of a shit afterwards.� Mom has planned the holiday dinner, though,
for Sunday at 1:00pm.� Only problem is,
the Steelers kick off agains the Colts in the Wild Card round at 12:30pm.� Tony respnse to the schedule is, �Mom, you
have to change dinnertime.�� Mom says, �What�s
more important, Anthony, our holiday dinner, or the Steelers.�� Tony says, �Don�t go there, Mom.�� Mom refuses to change the time; Tony says he�s
not going to any holiday dinner during a Steeler playoff game.� Me�..I�m a bit more flexible.� I don�t know about your family�s holidays,
but our dinners involve:
a)
gluttonous
amounts of food
b)
nary a word of
conversation
c)
eating like pigs
for 20 minutes, then retiring to the couches.
I figure that I can position
my chair strategically at 1:00, �and eat
a ton of ravioli and meatballs while not missing a play.�
Tony won�t give in though,
and Mom reluctantly changes dinnertime to 6:00pm.� I make out like a bandit.� My ass in Three Rivers Stadium at 12:30,
watching the Steelers beat the Colts�.then back to Mom�s for gluttonous amounts
of food, nary a word of conversation, but no anxiety �about Steelers football.� The next week, Tony & I spent our longest
day ever as fans, sitting through a fiasco in Foxboro Stadium.� Was God pissed off again�.that we had upset
our mother???� He�ll get over it�..more
on that day later.
Family responsibilities do
sometimes conflict with Steeler football.�
When this happens, it�s important that we keep our priorities straight��Reschedule!!!