Blowhard Billy Serves as Carolina Hornblower
I can’t
even make this kind of material up.
In a fit of
bizarre irony, Billy Cowher served as the “designated
hornblower” the other night in Raleigh, cheering on the Carolina Hurricanes as
they got whipped by the Pittsburgh Penguins.
As if Cowhard, aka “The Mailman”,
hadn’t alienated his hometown of PITTSBURGH enough by mailing it in after Sup
Bowl 40, he then pours salt into the wound by making himself not only play the
role of blowhard buffoon (a role he’s quite familiar with), but also judasing his hometown by rooting for the lowly ‘Canes.
It is only
fitting that Cowhard served as a designated hornblower. After
all, no coach in Pittsburgh
sports history tooted and blew his own horn more often, or more vociferously,
than Billy Cowher.
Just look
at the absurd
picture of Little Billy playing with his horn. Looks like a dumbassed
fool who darted off the short bus and is still be searched for by his
parents.
Remember,
it was Billy Cowher, still under contract, who, in
March 1998, threatened to leave the Steelers and go to Cleveland, a city that did not yet have a
current football team. This occurred
less than 2 months after ANOTHER AFCC choke-job, his 2nd of 4 AFCC home
chokes. Imagine, having the gaul, 7 weeks after a horrific choke job, to not only
demand a new contract, but then also threaten to go to your bitterest rival, a
city that did not even have a football team.
That was Billy “The Blowhard” Cowher, and no
one blew his own horn louder or harder than Billy.
Billy
“retired” after the miserable ’06 season, in which he mailed it in and then put
in all the effort of a sloth as his team grossly underachieved and missed the
playoffs. He didn’t really retire;
rather, he wanted to sit out and look for a better opportunity. So along comes Mike
Tomlin, a 34-year old who’d never been a head coach at any level, and Tomlin
takes virtually the same group of player Cowhard
flopped with in ’06 to the playoffs in ’07.
In ’08, Tomlin won a Super Bowl, something it took Billy well over a
decade to accomplish.
It’s well
known that the Stillers won Sup Bowl 40 in spite of Billy cowher,
not because of him.
The ironies
of Billy’s hornblower chores are nearly endless. Cowhard, the grande’ loser of home conference title games, goes Judas
and roots for the ‘Canes, who lose the Prince of Wales Conference title at
home, in front of Cowhard, to a Pittsburgh hockey
team. Up yours, Billy!!
If you want
more good laughs out of Cowhard making a fool of himself, read Kissing
Suzy Kolber’s (KSK) blog
about this hilarity. Says KSK, and
I quote:
“Here’s the thing: Because Chinny up
there was coach of the Stillers for 14 years, that’s a long stretch of being
forced to apologize for his inveterate conference title choking and his Jon Scheyer-esque propensity for making stupid faces in
photographs. And now, because he went and did this (Yes, there’s betrayal
involved - it’d be one thing if he coached the Panthers, but the fact that he
bought a home in Cackalacky and went to NC State back
in the day doesn’t trump his connection to Pittsburgh sports, and, besides,
having him do it is an obviously ploy by the Hurricanes to stick it to
Pittsburgh fans), I am freed to mock him without compunction for looking like
he’s about to about to hulk out out of his stupid red
shirt and have his big chiclet teeth ravage downtown
Raleigh.
So when KOGOD says in the photo he looks like
he’s taking George Clooney’s Burn After Reading sybian chair for a spin, I can laugh without qualm. And
laugh I shall YOU BIG RETARDED CHOKING KORDELL DEEP THROATING CHINNY
ASSBAG!”
That about
sums it up!! Perhaps next season,
instead of cranking and blowing the horn for Hurricanes games, Billy will take
the horn and shove it up his ass. That
would be most appropriate. It maybe even induce some
badly-needed oxygen to his brain. Good
riddance, Billy. Don’t come back to Pittsburgh, as we don’t
need losers and judases like you in our fine city, ya
blowhard!
Still Mill and
Stillers.com -- “When it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes
close….”