The Empire Falls: My Patriots Prediction Comes True

 

 

"Because if history is any guide, it won't be the New England Patriots who win it all next year. No matter how 'stacked' they look right now."

--PalmerSucks, “The New England Patriots and the Fall of the Roman Empire” July 2008

 

 

Congratulations, New England Patriots, you are now the 43rd-best team in NFL history!

 

Quite a change from all the pre-game talk that had you numero-uno-of-all-time even before you played the Super Bowl – you know, that little formality on the way to the victory parade.

 

History, history, history: you can’t overcome history, no matter how good a receiving corps you have. And now it’s all about history, as the local Boston paper summed up:

 

 

They're history, all right

Achievements vanish in a New York minute

 

By Dan Shaughnessy

Globe Columnist / February 5, 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my “New England Patriots and the Fall of the Roman Empire” I made a simple point: that off-field, external factors (especially character issues) could prevent the team from taking the title. No matter how loaded with weapons the team was.

 

The Patriots had all the football talent in the world, but in the end that wasn’t enough to cover for their sin of arrogance. An arrogance which caused them to lose focus and ideals, and ultimately affect their performance on the field.

 

To put things in perspective, we must compare the current Pats team with the 2001 version.

 

Remember the Patriots in their first Super Bowl, and the big deal they made out of their own humility – the way they ran out as a team, eschewing individual introductions to show their solidarity? No flashy superstars here, just one big happy humble team unit!

 

Fast forward to the present and see if you can spot any differences (we’ve started, fittingly enough, with a quote from head homer Bill Simmons). We’ll begin with the focus of all the worship, QB Tom Brady:

 

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“Before the pregame introductions, the Patriots were jogging off the field and the Jumbotron caught Brady briefly break stride to shake hands with Pat O'Brien. This bothered me for some reason -- somewhere along the line, the team and the quarterback almost became too famous, as symbolized by that handshake and the fact Brady would have run right by O'Brien six years ago because he would have wanted to flip out in the tunnel and inexplicably head-butt Bledsoe over and over again. Look, I'm not blaming Brady for the handshake. This was the season when his fame transcended sports and morphed into something else, and part of that "something else" involves the occasional random pregame handshake with the likes of Pat O'Brien. You have to do things like this when you're famous, even if you don't really want to do them. At the same time, I thought this was a terrible omen and a defining moment of the season. In the Super Bowl, you'd much rather be the "Nobody believes in us!" team than the "Not only does everybody believe in us, but our QB shakes hands before games with Pat O'Brien" team. You just would.”

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080204

 

 

Simmons (naturally) attempts to get Tommy off the hook here, but even he would have trouble spinning this next item:

 

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you look mahvelous

Tom Brady Will Be Well Coiffed On Sunday

The big Super Bowl question concerning Tom Brady isn't "Is he injured?", but rather "Will he have his nails done?" One can bet that the answer is affirmative, as word has leaked that the Patriots' quarterback will have his own hair stylist on hand in Glendale this weekend. They're calling him a barber, but come on; his name is Pini Swissa.

 

Yep, in true NFL tough-guy tradition, Tommy flies in his personal stylist for a little manscaping before the big game. Hey a fella’s gotta look good under his helmet!

Unitas would be proud, huh?

And no, I am not making up the following quote by said hair stylist:

"I did Tom Brady (Tuesday), and right before the Super Bowl, it's a surprise for everybody."

I’ll say! By the way, wonder if Tommy got a bikini wax to go with that top trim? A fella’s gotta feel good under his compression shorts, too.

Contrast this with Eli Manning, who obviously cuts his hair with a Flo Bee. No doubt he was reading a copy of the playbook while getting a trim, as opposed to, say, the new February Cosmo in the waiting room at the salon.

“But some observers are already annoyed with and exhausted by the whole foot controversy. Is he wearing a boot? Did he take it off? Did he wipe his feet when he entered Gisele’s apartment? Is he practicing with the team? Is his ankle OK? When will the club disclose his injury status? The whole episode has served to enhance the Patriots’ arrogance, because it’s perceived as a ploy to generate mystery and keep everyone guessing. Bill Belichick mind games, brought to

you with help from Tom Brady.

If Brady is on the losing end in Super Bowl XLII, he won’t be looked at simply as a great quarterback who came up short, but as a prankster consumed by his own red herring.

 

How prophetic was that? And once again, note the key word: arrogance.

I also mentioned Bill Belichick’s personal life situation in the original commentary. And what was Coach up to before the game?

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Both Beli-chicks touch down for Bowl!

By Gayle Fee and Laura Raposa

Friday, February 1, 2008 -

PHOENIX - Question: Is New England Patriots [team stats] coach Bill Belichick playing the field at Super Bowl XLII????

We ask because yesterday the coach arrived at his morning press briefing with his latest main squeeze, Linda Holliday.

But we hear that his former alleged paramour, Sharon Shenocca, is also headed to Phoenix for the big game!

Well! No wonder Bill’s been in such a good mood!

You may have heard that Belichick has been uncharacteristically cheerful here in Super Bowl land this week. He’s been joking (gasp!) with the media he generally disdains and the coach even laughed out loud (double gasp!) during some of his press conferences. Belichick actually cracked up when a reporter asked him how his (miserable) stint in Cleveland shaped him as a coach.

Anyway, as you may know, Belichick’s been dating Holliday since last April when the two were first spotted together at an NCAA championship basketball game. She is a Florida boutique owner and the mother of twin teenage girls.

Shenocca, you may recall, had a nasty New Jersey divorce that named Belichick as “the other man.”

Although Sharon denied the two were lovers, her husband, Vincent, alleged adultery, saying the coach had been showering his blond, 40-something wife with cash, gifts, exotic vacations and other expensive swag.

Word is, Sharon had been dating a personal trainer, but that lately Belichick appeared to be back in the picture. We hear he sent her and her two kids to Disney World recently and Sharon reportedly was at Gillette Stadium for the AFC Championship game. And, for what it’s worth, so was Linda.

 

And here we all fell for that image of Coach huddled in the film room 18 hours a day – some monk he turned out to be! What was that about the little head…? Uh, never mind.

Anyway, looks like Bill was doing more juggling than a trained seal before the game. At the very least, you have to wonder if that affected preparation any. And note the part about how he seemed so out of character, yukking it up over his flame-out in Cleveland no less! Is this how Lombardi would’ve gotten ready for the big one?

BostonHerald.com:

"Earlier in the day, Bill Belichick and his squeeze Linda Holliday worked the sidelines at the Marquis Jet hospitality lounge at the Audi Forum. Bill, a big fan of the private jet, did the meet and greet thing with “Entourage” creator Doug Ellin and star Kevin Connolly, IndyCar cutie Danica Patrick and “Gossip Girl” hunk Chace Crawford.

 

Is Bill Belichick's Ego Finally Catching Up to Him?

When he went for it on 4th and (13 or something like that) last night even though he was approaching field goal range, did you think that was his inflated ego making the call or just a really bad coaching decision?

"Maybe the book should be called '18-1: The World Champion New York Giants.' Someone should write that book."