Stooge Rooneys Insists on Keeping Mud Field      

 

As reported in the PG, Stooge Rooneys have decided to keep their mud bog instead of installing Field Turf.  Having the worst playing surface in the NFL, along with the embarrassment of the MNF “Mud Bowl” back in November, wasn’t enough to spur The Stooges to move into the modern era with a safe, playable surface that can withstand the weather and usage that Heinz Mud Bog faces each autumn.

 

The Rooneys keep insisting that “our players are in favor of a grass field.”   Sure….a GRASS field.  The fallacy in Stooge Rooneys’ excuse-making, is that  Heinz Mud Bog isn’t a grass field.  By the end of November each year, It’s a mud bog.  The Rose Bowl has a GRASS field.  So does PNC Park.   For sure, any player would love to play on THAT kind of grass.  If the Rooneys wanted to accurately survey their players, they need to rephrase the question from “Which would you prefer, grass or Field Turf?”, to “which would you prefer, a mud bog or field turf?”.

  

As for injuries, while Willie Parker was hurt on Field Turf in St. Lou, FB Danny Kreider was lost for the season -- and perhaps his career -- with a knee injury on the Mud Bog in that Miami game.  

 

The Rooney Stooges could keep their precious grass, if they stop the nonsense of allowing 5 (five) WPIAL high school title games to be played in one day in late November.  There is absolutely no law, statute, rule, regulation, or contract that requires these high school games to be played at Heinz Mud Bog.  True to their nature, The Stooges are too stubborn to put an end to this madness, as they are insistent upon the high school title games remaining at Heinz Cow Pasture.   With Pitt also playing 6 or 7 homes games a year, this is simply too much usage for a grass field in the cold, rainy, northern part of the USA.   What Rooney wants is to have his cake and eat it, too. ….which is patently absurd.  

 

The solution is easy.  The Stooge Rooneys have 2 choices:

 

a.  Keep the grass, but disallow high school games from being played at Heinz.    There are several other venues within the greater Pittsburgh area that could accommodate these games.    

 

 - or -

 

b.  Install Field Turf, and host hundreds of sideshow events, such as rock concerts, truck pulls, motocross, lacrosse, rugby, soccer, field hockey, pee wee football, and more.   With the way The Rooneys love to rake in cashola and hoard it, this would be the obvious choice, as their oft-idle stadium could generate additional revenue on the roughly 347 days that it sits dormant each year. 

 

Either choice fixes the problem and gives the pro sports team a playable surface.  It’s up to The Stooge Rooneys to extract their head from ass and make a choice, rather than idly sitting by with a broken status quo.  

 

(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)