Where was Eagle Eye Simms during Vrabel’s Blatant Trip?

 

 

Remember Kordell Stewart stepping an eyelash out of bounds shortly before catching a TD pass in the ’95 AFC Championship? You wouldn’t, if it weren’t for Phil Simms and his Super Terminator Killer Vision.

 

It was booth analyst Simms who somehow uncovered that tiny little trip over the line – if not for him, it would have gone unnoticed forever – an annoying, hawkeyed catch that irritates me to this day. Simms proudly made a little stink about it, which the media parrots picked up on and squawked about briefly. Still, I had to admire the guy’s powers of observation, plucking out something that incidental with all the motion going on during the play.

 

Which leads me to Sunday’s game, and Mike Vrabel’s painfully obvious trip of Philip Rivers. Judging from the lack of discussion, it seems not many people caught this. But I, as the most astute football analyst there is, certainly did.

 

For those with game tapes, you can witness this joke of a non-call at about, oh, 4:46 of the second quarter. I emphasize the word “joke” here, as this is only the worst foul of the whole chippy game – and nobody sees anything.

 

You’ll see Vrabel rush, get driven into the turf, and figure he’s out of the play when – boom! – out flies his big leg. Luckily for Mike, he catches the QB’s shin right as he’s stepping into his throw, and the ball flutters right into the hands of the waiting Pats’ DB.

 

What should’ve been a 10-yard penalty and a San Diego first down is now Patriots’ ball, and soon a 7-6 squeaker is blown open to 14-6 on a day when San Diego couldn’t sniff a touchdown with a police dog. This was the game’s key momentum shift, and in reality the crippled Chargers were never in it after that.

 

So where was Eagle Eye Phil during all this? What happened to that bionic eyesight, huh bud? Hilariously, Shill was about as church-mouse-quiet about this game-turner as the whole CBS studio crew. Dan? Boom? Coach? Big Mouth Shannon? Somebody? Anybody?

 

The first thing I did after the play was curse out Shill – I mean, uh, Phil; dude’s got 20/20 when it comes to the Stillers, but he’s blind as Stevie when it comes to the Patsies.

 

Then again, should we really be surprised?

 

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VIPs turn out for Pats’ win over Jets

It's playoff time and with a New York team in town you can expect to see Donald Trump. But when The Donald is at The Razor he's all about The Robert. As in the New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft. Trump and his wife, Melania, were on hand to witness the Pats trounce the Jets 37-16 yesterday to advance in the NFL playoffs. Before the game, Kraft was squiring around The Donald, whose TV show "The Apprentice" started its sixth season last night. And Trump, appearing on the WBCN pre game broadcast, was effusive about the Krafts and the Pats as an organization. It was a day of rock at Gillette Stadium, with Aerosmith's Joe Perry on the sidelines (his appearance on the scoreboard brought sustained cheers) and outside the Pats locker room with Pats honcho Jonathan Kraft after the game. Godsmack's Sully Erna was hanging out in auto magnate -- and sometimes rocker -- Ernie Boch Jr.'s box. Making a return to Foxborough for playoff action was Kay Hanley, formerly of Letters to Cleo, who sang the national anthem. The Pats QB's parents, Tom Brady Sr. and his wife, Galynn, were up in the Bank of America box taking in all of the action with Bank of America's chairman emeritus Chad Gifford and bank senior veep Jim Mahoney. And a very tan CBS CEO Les Moonves was spotted near the end of the game in the owner's box seated next to Bob Kraft.

 

 

Got that? Now, go ahead and calculate the odds of CBS doing anything to upset Kraft – especially with that CBS-themed restaurant they’re putting into the Big Razor Blade. (http://www.boston.com/business/articles/2007/12/09/kraft_cbs_focus_on_a_concept_restaurant/) Can you say “conflict of interest”? I knew you could.

 

Fact is, Kraft and the Big Cheese at CBS are tighter than Carson Palmer’s throat before a meaningful game (you didn’t think you’d get through a whole commentary without a mention of the Cornhole Choker, did you?). And that’s OK – I guess – until it becomes embarrassingly obvious, like it did this Sunday.

 

Remember, it was that other football network that showed you the Spygate tape, while the boys over at CBS were busy telling you how little it had to do with the Patsies’ success. Of course, these are the same guys who find nothing strange about the fact that current Pats players Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau both participated in the freakin’ 1994 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – so again, why should we be surprised?

 

Yep, they’ll still play Kimo’s highlight, but Vrabel’s swipe at already gimpy Rivers? When it comes to that one, the CBS eye is closed tight. Nothing to see here, folks, move right along…

 

Not that I’m saying San Diego wins if they’d thrown the flag, but on a day when the great Tom Brady stunk like rotten fish – who’s to say? The only thing certain in this world is where Bob’s buddy Les will be sitting this Super Bowl.

 

Jim Nance has his head so far up the Patriots’ asses, he can tell you what brand of toothpaste Belichick uses. But announcer hype is one thing; this little episode is something else altogether. Call it the “Silence of the Hams,” whatever – it’s enough to make you turn down the volume on CBS games for good.

 

Yet more reason to hate the New England Patriots. As if we needed it.

 

Anyway, enjoy the big game – fortunately, it’s on FOX this time around.

 

 

The views of PalmerSucks are not necessarily those of Stillers.com – but should be.