BenRoth Injured in Motorcycle Crash                                 

 

Stiller QB Ben "The Dummy" Roethlisberger was injured on Monday in a vehicular accident near Dahntahn Pittsburgh. 

 

The Dummy was riding on his super-high-powered Suzuki -- without a helmet, of course -- when a car attempting a left hand turn pulled in front of The Dummy.  As often, if not always, happens when a motorcycle rider meets an automobile, the automobile won and the rider lost.   In this case, The Dummy lost several teeth, and sustained a broke nose & jaw, along with a 9-inch laceration on the back of his head.

 

He was treated at Mercy Hospital and surgery was performed.  There was no word on whether or not a frontal lobotomy was performed on The Dummy while he was in surgery, although this procedure, if performed, might help The Dummy the next time he hops on a bike without donning a helmet. 

 

I'd previously commented last spring about the overt stupidity of riding a motorcycle without a helmet.  There are few things -- riding a car without a seatbelt; parachuting without a chute; and rappelling without a safety harness come to mind -- as stupid as riding a cycle without a helmet.   Yet The Dummy haughtily insisted on a TV interview that the law didn't require him to do so, and he felt "more free" riding without headgear.  I can only wonder how free The Dummy feels as he lies immobilized in his hospital bed this evening. 

 

The Dummy has not only jeopardized his own health and career, but obviously has now jeopardized his team's season as well.  It appears his limbs escaped major injury, and it's plausible he might return to full health before the season.  However, the nagging effects of this trauma may linger for months.  Vision, breathing, cardio-respiratory fitness, strength conditioning, and stamina all will remain a concern for at least the next couple of weeks, until further tests and diagnoses can be performed.  Concussions and the ability to take a blow to the face and the head, will also be a major concern the entire season and beyond. 

 

Because of this fiasco, the Stillers must obviously scavenge for a veteran QB to add to the roster.  Behind Charlie Batch, the cupboard is bare, with camp-arm Rod Rutherford and rookie Slomar Jacobs comprising the only depth.  Steve McNair would have been a superb pick-up, but he was traded last week to the RatBirds.  There's little left in terms of QBs who are unsigned by any other team.  I shudder at the thought of Ferry Collins, and I could not stomach his being on the team.  Ditto for Tommy Saddox.  Perhaps a backup such as Kyle Orton could be acquired for insurance at a cheap "price".  Assuming Roth has no major long-term injuries, you don't want to soak a lot into acquiring a backup QB, but unless Roth dashes out of the hospital this week at a full saunter, you have to acquire some insurance at the most important position in all of pro football.           

 

Frankly, I'm also concerned for the health and welfare of the lady that operated the car that hit Roth.  Guilty or not, she will long be ostracized by the greater Pittsburgh fan base, much the same way as that bozo Cubs fan that interfered with a homerun ball in the MLB playoffs.  This lady will, sadly enough, have to move well away from the city (assuming she lives in or near Pgh.) and basically live the rest of her life like a nun in secluded prayer.

 

At any rate, this was hopefully a wakeup call for the dumb and the foolish.  I've no problem with Roth riding a cycle, although I'd naturally prefer my star QB to ride around in an H2 or Lincoln Navigator for optimal safety.  But it's a well-established fact that cycle riding needs to be done responsibly, and that means the wearing of a full-face helmet, gloves, full jacket (preferably a riding jacket), pants (preferably sturdy leather riding pants), and boots.  To refuse to wear a helmet to protect the most frail and crucial part of the human anatomy is the height of arrogance, stupidity, and brazen foolishness. 

 

I've been to the hospital to attend to a good friend after he was in an accident on his bike.  He was a religious user of all the proper attire, and it saved his life. The doctor showed me the gear that my friend Joe had been wearing.  His helmet had a gash and road rash on it that looked as if the angriest lineman in the NFL smashed and then screeched it along concrete for 15 yards.  His leather riding jacket and pants had some horrific gouges that would have undoubtedly taken his skin off to the bone. 

 

As the crash test dummies have said in their commercials, "You could learn a lot from a dummy."  Hopefully, many youths and cycle riders that have foolishly and staunchly insisted on riding helmet-less have learned something today from The Dummy, Benji Roethlisberger.  Let's hope that the dummy himself has learned a lesson in the process as well.