Loose Slag from The Still Mill - Myth and Reality following the Battles against the Bottom Feeders

 

In light of the successive sloppy, shoddy efforts against the bottom feeders of the NFL, mythical babble has erupted all over the country, providing bullshit quibble and rationalization about how great the Stillers played and how truly inspiring and awesome their performance was versus Balt and GB.  As always, we here at Stillers.com love nothing more than dispelling mythical babble, so here's another segment of MYTH and REALITY. 

 

 

Myth: "The Stillers faced a hungry, quality Green Bay team that was fighting for a playoff spot and at the least was looking to be a spoiler."  

Reality: The Stillers played a pitiful, downtrodden, sack o’ dung 1-6 team; a team ravaged by injury so badly that their top 2 WRs and top FOUR running backs were out with injury; and the best the Stillers could do was paw and grope with the Jackers.  Lest we forget, the Jackers also turned the ball over on a fumble when NOBODY hit the RB; turned it over again for a Stiller TD when nobody blocked not 1, but 2 blitzing DBs; and The Jack also committed 8 penalties en route to their gratuitous giveaway. 

 

Myth:  "The Steelers beat a desperate team on the road by 10 points." 

Reality:  The Stillers barely beat a pitiful, bag o' barf team that was ready to roll over and play dead.  It’s not like the Stillers roared out to a 24-3 lead, and then inserted scrubs and backups and coasted to a 27-17 win.  They had to scratch and claw to beat a bottom feeder, not once, but 2 weeks in a row, first against 2-6 Baltimore, and then against 1-7 Green Gay. 

 

Myth:  “Holding Green Bay to only 10 points in their home field was a great accomplishment.”  

Reality: Back in 1998, it would have been a stupendous feat.  Not now.  The Jacker offense is a complete joke -- just barely better than Houston’s – mostly due to the horrendous rash of injuries they’ve sustained.  2 starting WRS, OUT.   Their top four RBs, OUT.  The Pack possess the 30th ranked running game in the NFL.  And as I’d noted in my pregame analysis, Brett Larvae had already packed it in for the season, as fully evidenced by his refusal to scramble with wide open acreage on the late 4th & 4, instead throwing a foolish, no-chance-in-hell lob to his blanketed TE in the EZ.  Even Mommy Maddox could have lumbered for 6 yards on this play, yet Larvae lazily just slung the ball to the EZ in what amounted to a hail Mary attempt.   I'm sure "Poor Brett" was showered with more and more sympathy after this game. 

 

Myth:  "The Stillers really clamped down on the GB running game in the 2H."

Reality:  GB, the team that ranks 30th in the NFL in rushing, was down to their FIFTH string FB, Sammy Gaydo, a man who hasn’t carried the ball 20+ times in a game since his junior varsity days in high school.  The only thing this defense "clamped down on" was their own peckers, which they did quite firmly and adroitly the entire game. 

 

Myth:  "The Stillers <sob> won with their <sob> 4th string RB handling the load." 

Reality: Duce Staley was, and is, THE #1 RB on this Stiller team.  He was last season, and he was and is this season as well.  Counting the attributes of experience, being "in his prime", ability to run up the gut, ability to run wide, ability to bust a run for big chunks of yardage, ability to catch the ball and then get RAC yardage, and blocking, Staley is, by far, the best all-around back on the roster.  Duce's lack of PT is only because his coach -- a mule stubborn, imbecilic moron -- has chosen to scratch him despite being fully healthy.  Calling Staley "the 4th string RB" is no less asinine than calling Hines Ward, upon reporting to training camp after his holdout, "a 2nd string WR". 

 

Myth:  "The 'max protect' by opposing offenses is shutting down our pass rush."

Reality:  Despite this daily babble by the Pittsburgh media, opponents are rarely in “max protect”.  Sure, at times, an opponent will keep a single RB in to block, or keep a single TE in to help out.  That ain't max protect.  As Steel Trivia will show in his soon-to-be-published breakdown of the GB game, opponents are not keeping in an entire armada to protect again The Vanilla Curtain.  Quite obviously, there is no need for “max protect”, what with Joey Porter playing like Jason GilDong; James Harrison being vastly outmanned because of frame length deficiencies; and Clark Haggans recovering from the groin injury. 

 

And, added to that, there is no need to max protect when the Stillers don't employ even a single down-lineman that possesses anything remotely close to the pedigree and ability to be an every-down force in the pass rush. 

 

   This isn't the first time the Pittsburgh media has tried to pass along half-baked, bullshit babble to the general public.  Back in 2002, the Pittsburgh media claimed, “Jason GilDong is being double and triple teamed on virtually every down.”  (Click here for the related article.)  Few things were ever has hilarious, or ludicrous, as that myth, although the "max protect" myth is getting awfully close to that status. 

 

Myth:  "We held the Packers to 10 points." 

Reality:  No, the Pitiful Packers held themselves to 10 points while the Stillers stood around and played grabass.  Their reliable placekicker was barely wide right on a chippie FG attempt.  Not once, but twice on 3rd & goal, a seasoned veteran -- first Klemm, then Franks -- false started, just prior to the Pola fumble recovery and TD return.  And Lee, who started the game at RB, fumbled away the ball without anything but air touching him. 

 

Myth:  The Stillers had to play with Charlie Batch <sob> as the starting QB <sob>, who was inactive the past 3 seasons. 

 

Reality:  Charlie Batch was on the roster of this very Stillers team the past 3 seasons.  Never hospitalized or suspended, he attended every practice, every film session, every mini camp, every training camp, every game, and every drill.  As such, he was fully eligible to play on any number of occasions during that span.  

 

   Whose fault is it that Charlie Batch has been relegated to the farthest reaches of the bench? 

 

            a.  Art Rooney Sr. 

            b.  Paul Tagliabue

            c.  Al Davis

            d.  Dick Cheney

            e.  Bilbo Cowher

 

 

Myth: "The Stillers are waiting to peak."

Reality:  Playing grope-a-dope with a bottom feeder 2 weeks in succession ain't the path to the peak. 

The Stillers are slumbering and blundering, and are sleepwalking into a hornet's nest at the RCA Dome on Nov. 28th.  Once that whipping is administered, the playoffs go through the artificial track at the RCA and all slow-footed playoff pretenders, such as Pittsburgh, will need Solarcaine in large doses to reduce the burning and chaffing. 

 

Myth:  "Bill Cowher coached a great game."

Reality:  Billy Cowhard puckered his ass and gagged and choked, just as he has done time and time and time again in the playoffs.  Looks like he's merely trying to polish up his playoff routine a couple months early. 

 

 

(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 4 Stiller playoff losses….)