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The GilDong Report (Game #4, @ KC)

October 17, 2001 by Still Mill


The GilDong Report (Game #4, @ KC)

In light of many a fan being bamboozled and ga-ga over Jason Gildong�s 11 sacks in �98 --- despite only 2 being anywhere near "earned sacks" --- I�ve devoted considerable time the past 2 seasons to monitor the work of the exceptionally average Jason Gildon. Gildon, as you may recall, hoodwinked enough voters in �00 to be voted in to a reserve spot in the Pro Bowl. Jason has been famous enough with his coverage sacks, flop sacks, the QB-slipped-on-the-wet-turf sacks, the OT totally forgot his blocking assignment sacks, and so on, that the NFL designated a new statistic, called the "Dong Sack™", in honor of Jason Gildong. (Some fantasy football leagues are incorporating this into their point systems.) Again in '01, I'll take time to expose Jason Gildon for the fraud that he truly is.

Gildon, coming off a supposed "pro bowl" season, spent the better part of the season's first 3 games in Bin Laden-like seclusion. Only rarely was Gildon spotted doing much of anything. Finally, in the KC game 2 days ago, Jason emerged from seclusion and gave at least a mediocre performance in the Stillers' win over the Chefs.

Gildon finished with a 5 solos and 1 assist, which is probably a career-high for the light-hitting wonder.

Jason's first stop came on the 2nd play of the game for KC. Priest ran up his LG, and with good penetration by Clancy, Priest was forced to delay and then head a lil' right up center. Gildon, who was totally untouched and unblocked on the play, came down the LOS for the easy-as-pie stop.

Jason got credit for an assist in the 2nd quarter, on a Priest plunge in which Lee Flowers made the brunt of the stop. Frankly, in my Monday-evening tape scrub, I didn't even record this as an assist for Big Jason. The official stats stated that The Dong got an assist, which forced me to go back and review the tape. Needless to say, a fairly flimsy assist.

At 12:35 of the 3rd qtr, Jason recorded a sack against right tackle Willie Jones. Who's Willie Jones? Why, he's the backup tackle. On the previous play from scrimmage, Chad Scott snared the INT and ran it in for a TD. Also on that play, Joey Porter and Aaron Smith collapsed starting RT Vic Riley into a heap, and Riley broke his leg. So, on the 1st play from scrimmage following the Stiller PAT and kickoff, Willie Jones, who'd sat all day, went in stone cold. It was on this first play from scrimmage that Big Jason took advantage of the clumsy Jones, cutting inside of Jones while Jones clumsily fell on his face. Jason sacked Green for -3 yards for his first earned sack of the season, although, given the circumstances of a scrub backup tackle entering the game stone cold, it was rather dubious indeed. See these picture below to watch the play develop, and note that in pic #3, Jones is kneeling face-down on all 4's like an absolute dufus, while Jason -- who never even blasted Jones -- is moving toward the QB.


At, 0:45 of the 3rd qtr, Jason got his 3rd solo after a short 5-yard completion on an out-curl to Chris Thomas. Jason was lined up over Thomas, and had another cake-easy stop.

At 13:48 of the 4th, on a 3rd & 8 from the Stiller 34, Green hit Priest in their right flat with a pass. Jason, in a rare fit of alacrity, dashed over and snared Priest, holding him to a 7-yard gain. This was actually an impressive play, because it showed hustle, desire, quickness, and decisiveness -- elements clearly lacking in Jason's typical repertoire.

His final solo came on a 2nd & 10 from the KC 27, with 7:27 left in the 4th. Jason lined up at ROLB, and then barely pass-rushed, instead just lightly titty-fighting. Alexander caught a short crosser, and Jason peeled downfield and made the stop.

Of course, this was far from even a near-flawless game from Big Jason.

There was the Priest run up RT on a 2nd & 2 from the Stiller 18 in the 4th quarter. Jason got kicked out wide -- VERY wide and very easily -- by RT Willie Jones, and the gaping fissure enabled Priest to saunter thru for 7 yards.

Then there's the Priest 1-yard TD run. On this play. Big Jason was lined up as a down LDE. At the snap, Marcus Spears (#70 in picture below) literally mauled Big Jason, and pancaked the studly "pro bowler" onto his back. In the pics below, you can see a Steeler underneath the vaulting Earl Holmes. This player is on his back, with his feet in the air, like a wounded crab. That man is Jason GilDong, who got manhandled, mauled, and then pancaked on this goal- line stand.




These 3 pics show the goal-line dive from the "above angle". #70, Spears -- the same man who was steamrolled by KenBell on one of his sacks -- simply mauls Big Jason and drives him into the Arrowhead turf.



Not to be outdone, there was the 2-point conversion on the very next play. On this play, Jason was lined up over TE Tony Gonzalez out in the slot. At the snap, Gonzo dashes out into a pattern, and Jason gets about 2 fingers on Gonzo, and nothing more. Jason then 'sits' in no-man's land, doing nothing and covering nothing. Gonzo ends up being wide open and catches a critical 2-pointer.

Pass pressure from Big Jason? Ha ha! Facing RT Vic Riley, Jason didn't come close to even sniffing Trent Green. While Porter, KenBell, Aaron Smith, and Myron Bell took turns harassing and hitting Trent green, Jason was getting punched and bullied by Riley. Even Jones, as clumsy as he was, settled down after that first play/sack, and easily warded off Big Jason the rest of the game. In fact, Jason, aside from his sack, finished the game with exactly zero hurries and zero pressures.

Season to date totals for Jason, in 4 games:

Earned Sacks: 1
Dong Sacks™: 1
Strips, Jars, fumbles caused: 0

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