Aints 35, Stillers 32……. Nov. 30, 2014…………Game # 12
Stillers-Aints Postgame Analysis and Grades
The Stillers hosted the hapless Aints, who were 1-7 in their last 8 road games and coming off a 3-game losing streak, the latest loss being this past Monday evening. The Stillers fairly dominated the 1Q, though they were up only 3-0. After that, the bottom fell out, as the vaunted Stiller defense was overwhelmed and shredded by the NO offense, while the Stiller offense struggled until 2 late-game scores in garbage time. The Stillers closed the lead to 21-13 in the 3Q, but the Saints promptly marched the entire length of the field for a crushing TD, and the rout was on.
Grades:
QB: Ben had an overall piss poor outing. Don’t let the final stats fool you. Horrible pass, start of 3d series, which should have been a pick 6 on a 1-step hitch to AB, but much like Dick’s butterfingered crew, the Saints’ DB dropped the ball. Smacked his wrist on a defender as he released a pass, late 1Q. At that point, things completely fell apart for Ben, who resorted to using his left hand to hand the ball off to Bell, and was scattershot and timid. Early in the 2Q, Ben got away with what should have been an INT, but AB gamely wrested the ball from the DB. Pumped about 4 times, and then threw LATE, into double coverage no less, to Heyward-Gay, no less, for an atrocious INT at 4:22 2Q. Weakly underthrew Wheaton on a deep ball, late 2Q. Horribly threw too high to a WIDE open Miller, late 2Q. Two plays later, was too high to Miller on a short slant. Ben was continually high to various receivers during the 1H.
The 2H started out disastrously, with a pass batted by a DE and then INT’d. Misfired on a pass to an open Miller in the EZ, 3Q, on a fairly wretched pass. Threw woefully too high on a 3d & 10, 8:13 4Q. Very piss poor. Missed a wide-open Moore in the EZ with just a couple minutes left in the game during garbage time. Padded his stats with gobs of meaningless yardage during garbage time, including a completely meaningless TD pass to AB as the final gun sounded. An unacceptably poor performance by Benjamin, who has done far too little since those 6 TDs games that seem like they occurred 10 weeks ago. D-
RB:
Bell - Stutter Bell had an overall solid game. Rushed for 95 yards on 21 carries. Big run, 2d series, good for 12 yards. Followed that with a punishing, churning, 18-yard game in which he rumbled over several tacklers. Superb effort on a 3d & 1, mid 3Q, in which he encountered backfield pressure and still managed to plow for a hugely critical 1D. Took a plunge play wide to his left for a big 1-yard TD at 4:21 3Q. Padded his final receiving stats with tons of garbage RAC yardage in late-game garbage time, so I won’t overly fawn over his final receiving stats, although he certainly chipped in nicely with his pass catching. A-
Archer: Pee Pee Archer got a handoff on 2d &1, 9:00 3Q, and was easily stuffed on a gut plunge as Bell helplessly stood on the sidelines. He’s just so quick, so talented, and so elusive…!! Inc
FB: Will Johnson - Good lead block on Bell’s 12-yard run, 1Q. Didn’t play all that much, esp. when the rout was on. Inc
WR:
Brownie – superb 2nd & 3d effort, 1st drive, getting the 1D on 3d & 7. Clutch 3D grab, 3Q, which set up the offense with 1st & goal at the NO 1. Grabbed a short TD in garbage time late in the blowout. Tacked on a 2-pointer late in the 4Q o make the final score look somewhat respectable, even though it was a total asswhipping. Also grabbed a completely meaningless TD as the final gun sounded. B
Pinkie Wheaton - good extra effort on 4th & 10, mid 4Q, which was initially ruled a 1st down. Peyton challenged it, and Wheat’s knee was down prior to the 1st down yardage. Had 5 grabs for 61, which, as I’ve stated at least 10 times this season, is not productive enough (12 yards a catch) for a #2 WR in today’s NFL. C+
Justin Brown – thankfully, did not dress.
Archer: Did nothing in the passing game. By the way, he’s just so fast & explosive, and quick, too. Good thing Doltbert rabidly reached for this smurf in the 3rd round…!
Lance “Yancey” Moore - grabbed a short out, 3d & 4 late 1Q, and got the 1D. Dropped a short TD pass late in the game during garbage time. Grabbed a completely meaningless 2-pointer with no time left on the game clock. B-
Martavis Bryant - big play on short post, first series, good for 23 yards. Sadly, and unbelievably, this would be his only grab of the day. Clumsily dropped a 3D pass at the goal line, early 2Q. Very poor. B-
Heyward-Gay - thrown an ill advised deep ball and failed to bust it up, which was then INTd. He has more penalties, and last names, than he does receptions. D-
TE:
Miller - dropped a short curl, mid 4Q. Had a solid game, although much of his stats were padded in garbage time. B-
Spaeth - dressed, and wasted oxygen, plus a scare spot on the 45-man game-day dress roster. Did jack shit all evening long.
OL:
Beacham - flagged for a hold, 5:00 4Q. Wasn’t thoroughly dominated as he often is. B-
Gilbert - FatAss Marcus tweaked a leg during a mid-week practice pile-up, and did not dress.
Adams - Sadman Adams got tooled on an outside speed rush, 1st series, which forced a hasty pass and thus forced a punt. Beaten again, next series, forcing a high Ben pass to Wheaton that was inc. Got bullrushed early in the 2H, and his man ended up batting the pass and then getting the INT. At least Sadman had the presence of mind to make a TD-saving tackle. Got mauled back into the face of the QB, which allowed Jordan to bat a pass, 5:00 4Q. On the next play, got thrown aside by the rusher, who then harried Ban and nabbed him for a 1-yard gain. A shit game and a shit effort. F
Foster - okay game.
Pouncey – got little push on the GL & short yardage plunges.
DeCastro - Blocked nobody on a completed 3D pass to AB, 4:00 1Q. Opened a few holes in the ground game.
DL:
Cam Thomas - waddled here and there, doing little in the process. At this point, I’m not entirely sure why he’s given a helmet each Sunday. D-
Keisel - unblocked, applied pressure on Brees, 2nd series. Walked off the field in acute pain, late 3Q, with a triceps injury. This will end his season, and his career. Now Dick LeBeau will start pooping his pants, fretting at the prospect of having to give Tuitt more reps. Inc
McLendon - did not dress.
Heyward – applied the pressure, and a ick, that helped force the overthrow of a wide open Stills, 1Q. Deflected a 3D pass, early 3Q. Good backfield stuff of Ingram, 4Q. One of the very few defenders to actually earn his pay. A-
Tuitt - the vaunted 2nd rounder from Notre Homo saw a decent amount of PT, but did very, very little. Finished with, wow, one whopping solo…!!
LB:
Timmons – a fairly quiet game. Chipped in some, but finished with only 3 solos, which isn’t nearly good enough for a veteran starting ILB in this defense. C-
Shaquier – Yancey Shaz once again did not dress. Perhaps he can dress by Game 16.
Worilds - Big Jason was a bit more active than usual, although he managed to pad his stats with some slop stops and slop assists. Made a routine stop on a valve dump near the sideline, 4:00 3Q. Got a Dong Sack early in the 4Q. The only good thing, is that at this point, even Doltbert would be a complete fuking idiot to re-sign this walking cardboard cut-out. C-
Jones - did not dress.
Harrison - got sucked inside on an Ingrams run, 4Q, which enabled Mark to bounce it wide for 7 yards. Finished with a team high 5 solos, but was nowhere near any kind of factor. C
Moats - feebly whiffed on a tackle of Ingram, late 2Q.
Spence - made a rare bust-up of a pass, 2Q. Got blown up on Ingrams’ 20-yard gut run, 2Q. Clumsily failed to keep up with a slow-footed FB, Erik Lorig, on a short TD pass, late 2Q. What is this fellow’s current Forty time….a 5.1 ?? Should have applied a lick on Toon, but feebly whiffed and did nothing on the Toon TD. Abused by the backup TE early in the 4Q, good for 17 yards. Was soft and useless against the run all game long. A shoddy outing by a fellow who hasn’t lived up to even 10% of the outrageous fawning by the incompetent Steelers coaching staff and sheep-like Pittsburgh media. D-
Vinnie W. - got some PT and did only a little. Not impressive. Inc
DB
Ike - returned to the lineup after the long absence due to the broken forearm. Feebly whiffed on Toon, early 3Q, which was then followed by whiffs by Pola, Spence, and Weisel en route to a N.O. TD. Got tooled on a routine double move by Stils in the 3Q, good for a 69-yard TD pass, on 3d & 10 no less. Feebly missed busting up a deep out to Stills, early 4Q. Stupidly took a shot at Ingram after he clearly had stepped OOB after his long run in the 4Q, drawing a flag. Really, it probably would have been better if Ike had sat this one out. F
Pola - in his first game back in a few weeks, he delivered a big lick, late 2Q, and then was slow to get up. He got up and walked off the field. Weak flop n’ flail on the long Ingrams run, 4Q. Flailed and whiffed on the Toon TD. Finished with 2 solos and zero impact. C-
Will Allen - saw PT in the 2H with Pola out with a stinger.
Mitchell – as usual, was NOWHERE to be found on the long pass plays. Actually, was nowhere to be found on ANY pass play. A complete waste of oxygen. I can’t fathom what Doltbert and Dumblin saw in this daft simpleton. D-
Gay - got abused on a deep pattern by Stills, late 2Q, good for a 44-yard gainer. Tooled by Stills on a deep out, late 3Q. He should be ending his Stiller career in about 4 weeks. C-
C. Allen - Queertez remained glued to the bench. It’s getting rather silly, though…..rotting this guy on the bench, even as injuries shelve McCain and Pola, and Ike just coming back from a long injury hiatus. Typical childish Dumblin at his worst.
Blake - replaced McCain. Flagged for a costly hold at 11:00 4Q on a 3D sack by Vinnie that would have forced a punt. A few plays later, was tooled by Colston for a short TD. C-
McCain - pulled a ham, early 1Q. inc
Spec teams:
Wing – punted acceptably, in a rare fit of competence. (Only punted twice, however.) B
Suisham - eeked in a 49-yard FG, 1Q, in which the ball literally sliced, taking it from being ‘no good’ to ‘good’. Tried a 54-yard FG on the last play of the 2Q, which had a shit snap and ended up being about 2 yards short. B
Archer – not used in the return game. He’s just so fast and explosive, though. An absolute steal in the 3rd round. Colbert once again fools the rest of the NFL.
AB – solid punt return, 11:30 2Q. Inexplicably allowed a punt to bounce and roll to the PIT 5-yard line instead of trying to make a play, with the Stillers down 35-16 with only 6 minutes left in the game. Typical of this team’s complete inattention to detail and complete lack of hunger. By the way, the last time this guy had a big punt return was….way back in the season opener, some 4 months ago. C-
Good 42-yard KO return by Wheaton, mid 2Q. Who knows why it took like 9 games to try this fellow as a KO returner.
OC:
Galey had a long afternoon against a below average (shit laden, actually) defense. In his defense, Ben’s hand injury obviously hampered him, and as Ben goes, so goes this offense.
I despised the playcalling, late in the 2Q. AB had set up the offense with 1st down at the N.O. 36, with only 18 tics left in the half. Ben tried a deepish seamer to Miller, which as usual today, was too high. I had no problem with that stab, but now, down to precious few seconds, you have to ensure you nudge forward at least 3-4 yards to have a legit FG try in your back pocket. So, it’s 2d down, 14 seconds left. At this point, you have to be thinking about at least tacking on a FG. The NO defense was playing WAAAAY off the LOS, just begging to give up the simple 6 yard out pass. But no, it never came. Two low-percentage incomplete passes ensued, and the result was a 54-yard FG try that came up a yard or two short. Had Haley, the dumbfuck, gotten the easy 6 or 7 yards on 2d down, they could have easily tacked on a FG prior to the half.
I also despised the refusal to get the ball to Bryant. AB was lighting it up, and Bryant would have been the perfect complement. But no…..after the first series, Bry caught, well, zero passes the rest of the game. Fuking zero. Preposterous.
Added to that, Bell caught ZERO passes in the 1H. That’s right -- all 11 of his grabs came in the 2H. Why was this guy ignored in the passing game the entire 1st half??
Playcall of the game, goes to the 2d & 1 play, in which Little Pee Pee Archer was sent up the gut on a line plunge, and was easily stonewalled for no gain. Really? This is the best usage Haley can conjure for the lil’ twerp??
All in all, the offense remains a sporadic, disjointed mess. C-
DC:
Dick had the luxury of facing Brees in Pittsburgh (rather than on the road in the Dome), on the shit field known as Heinz Mud Bog. Dick also had the luxury of facing a team coming off a MNF game, meaning the Aints had only 4 days to prepare. To add to Dick’s luxury, star TE Jimmy Graham was evidently hobbled with an unknown injury, and was never targeted, not even once, the entire game. But sure as shit, Mister 55 -- who got torched for 55 points last year versus Brady and NE -- got torched for five (5) TD passes by Brees today. FIVE. The Aints scored on 5 of 6 possessions in the 2Q/3Q/4Q to turn a close game into a laughable blowout. They’d have surely scored more, but in the 4Q were content to turtle the ball and then punt, what with their ginormous lead.
Early on, N.O. got into the holiday mood, dropping two passes on their opening drive. On the next drive, WR Kenny Stills was WIDE open on a deepish post, good for an easy 6, but Brees overthrew him by about 13 feet.
In the 2Q, Dick got gashed for an 8-play, 79 yard TD march, with most of the yardage coming on huge chunks via the ground game. Dick promptly followed up that spewed vomit, by allowing an 80-yard TD march.
Leveon Bell scored to make in a 21-13 game, 4:00 4Q. What does Dick do? Sure as shit , he allows the Aints to storm back and score a backbreaking TD. This came on a 3d & 10, in which Dick brought ZERO pressure at all, which allowed Brees an ETERNITY back in the pocket, calmly scanning all over the field before finding a WIDE open Stills down the sideline for a 69-yard TD. If there’s even an ounce of pressure on this play, Brees never, ever has the time to find Stills and hit him with a pass.
Of course, Dick is supposed to be the Holy Papal Deity of Defensive Coaching. With 2 weeks to prepare, what does he do…? Jack fuking shit NOTHING. No pressure. No harassment. Brees could have boiled tea and ate crimpets, totally unfettered, while casually standing around back in the pocket. Dick supposedly is “the master of diabolical schemes….and clever disguises.” Where, praytell, was anything diabolical or clever? WHERE??? Brees went 19 of 27, and at least 4 of those incompletions were dropped passes. 13 days to prepare, and nothing but vanilla pabulum from this over-rated fraud of a coordinator. There’s no better tonic for a struggling offense, than the opportunity to feast up a bumbling, Softee Defense like Dick’s. Just look at the scoring drives….! 79 yards. 80 yards. 15 yards. 89 yards. 80 yards. The 15 yarder was after a Ben Shitlesberger INT, but every other drive was basically the entire length of the field. And Dick just stood there, helpless and hapless as ever, with both hands grabbing his ass looking for answers. Let us not forget -- in the past 3 games, Dick’s vaunted defense has allowed TD passes of 67, 80, and 69 yards. In the past 3 games, Dick’s vaunted defense has forced exactly 1 turnover.
The tackling technique was utterly pitiful the entire game. It was readily obvious that this team didn’t practice live tackling, AT ALL, during the 2 week layoff. Nice preparation, Dick, you dick.
Armed with the bye week and 13 (thirrteen) days to prepare, the best Dick could do was this steaming pile of smelly horseshit that was spewed out onto the Heinz Field playing surface today….? One measly, meaningless sack. ZERO turnovers, as usual, which makes sense, given the Def. Coordinator with zero brains. No pressure on Brees for nearly the entire ballgame. And Mark Ingram running wild through gaping holes in Dick’s Softee Defense. Dick clearly fell asleep after the 1st quarter, and then was brutally sodomized and ass-raped by the New Orleans attack. Quick -- someone wake Dick up before the Cinci game. F-
HC: Mike Dumblin apparently oversaw a country club during the 2-week layoff. The tackling was atrocious, which leads one to assume that little, if any, live tackling was done during practice. The team was stale, flaccid, and lacking any kind of hunger or urgency. Shit preparation by a shit coach. What made this debacle all the more disgraceful, was that the Aints had to play a MNF game last week, and then go on the road to PIT, giving the Aints a whopping 4 days of preparation. Yet they managed to assclown Dumblin and his band of imbeciles on the staff.
Ben’s hand was injured enough that on the ensuing play Ben ridiculously handed off to Bell using his LEFT hand, in an ass-awkward manner. We’ve seen this tired rerun over and over…Ben is clearly injured, or coming off a hideous injury (concussion, etc.), yet Dumblin cannot let go of his favorite pacifier, and refuses to use a backup. The result ? Ben throwing the ball like complete horseshit and the entire offense bogging down. As the dismal offseason hearkens, I suppose we can spend our free time arguing over who is the bigger dullard: Pitt Head Coach Paul Cyst, or Michael Dumblin. Really, it’s a tough call. F
Synopsis: This one comes as no surprise. The Softee Defense got savagely shredded and barbequed by one of the very few competent QBs they’ve faced -- or wil face -- ALL season. The offense was sporadic and sputtery. We’ve seen this drab movie, oh, about 6 previous times this season. No coaching, no leadership, and shoddy play all combine to produce the vomit you saw today and have seen all too often this season. Next up, a road trip to face the Bungals.
(Still Mill and Stillers.com -- when it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close….)
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