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The GilDong Report (Game #1, @ Jax)

September 12, 2001 by Still Mill


No Pro Bowl!The GilDong Report(Game #1, @ Jax)

(Editor�s note:I scrubbed the game tape on Monday evening, and compiled about 90% of this report that evening�long before the terrorist attack occurred.The publishing of this regular, weekly report that has been done here weekly since the �99 season, is in no way, shape, or form, meant to take anything away from the series of cowardly attacks and resulting tragedies that have struck our proud nation.)

In light of many a fan being bamboozled and ga-ga over Jason Gildong�s 11 sacks in �98 --- despite only 2 being anywhere near "earned sacks" --- I�ve devoted considerable time the past 2 seasons to monitor the work of the exceptionally average Jason Gildon. Gildon, as you may recall, hoodwinked enough voters in �00 to be voted in to a reserve spot in the Pro Bowl.Jason has been famous enough with his coverage sacks, flop sacks, the QB-slipped-on-the-wet-turf sacks, the OT totally forgot his blocking assignment sacks, and so on, that the NFL designated a new statistic, called the "Dong Sack�", in honor of Jason Gildong. (Some fantasy football leagues are incorporating this into their point systems.) Again in '01, I'll take time to expose Jason Gildon for the fraud that he truly is.

Gildon picked up exactly where he left off in 2000 and exactly where he left in the prior Jax meeting, with an effort so weak, meek, and sickly that the FBI is still conducting an all points bulletin to find out exactly where Big Jason, the Big Pro Bowler, is hiding, because whoever that was masquerading as an NFL linebacker for the Stillers this past Sunday surely was no �Pro Bowler�.��

Gildon entered the game with the fortuitous luxury of facing a rookie OT, Maurice Wiliams, who was obviously making his first ever NFL start.To put things into perspective, Steeler OT Marvel Smith started at RT as a rookie, and spent his first 2 games getting whipped and abused by McCrary and C. much so, that each defender was awarded the AFC Player of the Week award after whipping ass on Smith.�� OT is the kind of �you�re on your own island� position, where, just like CB, rookies often take their lumps early in their rookie seasons.���

But nothing of the kind occurred at Altel Stadium this past Sunday.In fact, Williams had his way with Gildon, so much so that Gildon was an immense non-factor who did nothing the entire game, finishing with a whopping 1 solo and 1 assist.

Gildon recorded a solo tackle on the game�s first series.�� Taylor took a handoff and ran left, in hopes of running wide or up left tackle.�� Finding no room at all, Taylor had to stop and stutter, peeking for some daylight.�� In the meantime, Big Jason was left totally untouched and unblocked on this play.Gildon came down the line and made the easy-as-pie stop of Taylor for his one and only solo of the day.��

Big Jason had one assist in the game.In the third quarter, Hampton got good penetration into the backfield as Taylor took a handoff and looked to run up RT.�� Taylor had to elude and twist past Hampton, and in the meantime Joey Porter came flying in for the tackle.�� Big Jason lightly chipped in at the end of the play and earned an assist for his laborious efforts.

Other than that, Big Jason did jack-squat the entire game.No QB harassment and very little run support.�� Some notable plays (or lack thereof):

- At 14:00 of the 2nd qtr, on a 1st and 10 on their own 49, Jax ran Taylor wide right for a long run that netted 19 yards.On the play, Big Jason was lined up on the slot receiver.�� At the snap, Big Jason tiptoed toward the LOS, and then got crumpled by the pulling RG.�� What was sad, was the pathetic, sorry-assed way that Big Jason played this sweep.Instead of standing up to the pulling guard and fighting thru the block, or trying to at least knife by the guard, Big Jason played this like a little cornerback, going into a near-kneeling position and accepting the crumpling block by the guard.You know how this looks -- you see little DBs perform this very maneuver in every game in the NFL, but you don�t expect it from a 255-pound LB.That�s called faggot football, and it�s hardly something that any starting LB in the NFL should aspire to do.��

- On a 2nd & 8 play from the Pit 48, just after the nearly-blocked punt, Taylor ran up right tackle.Gildon was again out on the slot receiver, and once again meekly stood by while a TE simply shield-blocked Big Jason.Taylor easily cruised thru the gaping hole for 11 yards.

- The very next play, on Smith�s 13 yard curl-in, Gildon was split wide on the slot, and took a pitiful coverage-drop.He angled way too far toward the sideline, and made it an easy pitch-and-catch for Brunell to hit Smith.

- Not to be outdone, on the next play, Gildon got bullied and shoved way to the outside by TE K. Brady, creating a nice gap for Taylor to easily bust ahead for 4 yards.

- In the 4th quarter, facing a 1st & goal on the 4, Jax ran a toss sweep to their right.Gildon got literally BURIED to the inside.�� I mean, he got lambasted.Fortunately, Logan and other LBs helped stuff this play short of the GL.

- Finally, late in the 4th qtr, Taylor ran wide to his left.He then, seeing nothing, reversed course and ran wide right for a long 24-yard gainer.Gildon, as usual, took a careless, sloppy pursuit angle, and left Taylor with an open, two-acre sized plot of land to roam free through.

In all, this was yet another weak, sorry game by the most overrated linebacker in all of pro football.�� Facing a raw rookie, Gildon had a chance to feast on the greenhorn and make some impact for his team.Instead, Gildon did absolutely nothing the entire game.Remember this game the next time you hear all the fawning and praising of Big Jason Gildon�and stay tuned the rest of the season, because there�ll be another 14 similar games from Big Jason.��

Season to date totals for Jason, in 1 game:

Earned Sacks: 0
Dong Sacks�:0
Strips, Jars, fumbles caused: 0


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