Fixing the Stillers (Oct 21st, 2003)
The
Stillers, in the midst of their "bye break" after a dismal 2-4 start,
hope to turn things around before the season spirals out of control.� To do that, of course, will require change.� A change in personnel, a change in tactics,
a change in philosophies.� The blind
stupidity that got this team into this 2-4 mess simply cannot continue if
there's any hope of securing a playoff spot.�
Of course,
as my esteemed colleague, Steel Phantom, so adroitly pointed out, the Stillers
coaching staff has already pissed away much of the free time from this bye
week, using a grand total of 2 out of 7 days for work.�
That act of
stupidity aside, here's what needs to be done -- what needs to be fixed -- for
this team to turn it around in this sorry, under-achieving campaign.� On a related note, please read Phantom's
gem, "Fixing a
Hole", which is a tremendous read on ailments for this team's
problems.� In nearly all cases, Phantom
and I agree on the problems and solutions at hand.� We see a few things differently, and our styles and approaches
are different enough that I think it's worthy to publish two articles that address
the same thesis: fix what is broke.�
Fixing
the Offense:
1.� Fix the O-line.��
Duh.�� I've harped on this in
Loose Slag articles the past 6 weeks.�
It's water under the bridge, but 2 Fingers Simmons should have
been sat down, if not prior to the regular season, then certainly after the opener.� Ditto for Fordham.�� The real root problem in this O-line mess is not injury, or free
agency, or scheme, or any other gibberish you may have heard.� The root cause for the O-line woes is the
ass-puckering fear factor of one Billy Cowher, who is too afraid and too
chickenshit to play an offensive lineman who "hasn't done it before"
-- in front of Billy's own eyes -- in the NFL.�
Nkwenti, Okobi, and Vincent are all in their 3rd NFL season.� Each has been to THREE mini-camps and THREE
training camps, along with THREE preseasons and 3 full seasons worth of
practice, film study, lectures, and so forth.�
Yet none has been deemed worthy enough to step onto an NFL gridiron
unless injury has decimated every other available option.� It's chickenshit management at its
worst.� Apparently, all of these players
need, oh, another 4 seasons of grooming and tutelage before they're ready for
NFL football.� It comes down to this
simple fact:� if these men aren't good
enough to play in the NFL, then they should have been cut a LONG time ago.� If they are good enough to have stuck around
for THREE preseason's worth of cuts, then apparently they're good enough to
warrant play.� But Billy Cowher loves
the self-licking ice cream cone.��
They've never played before, so under Cowher's brilliant leadership,
they can't play until they get experience and "get a feel for the
scheme and the playbook".� But they
cannot get that experience if they never play.�� So, the end result is the vicious cycle of never playing,
thereby never getting experience, thereby generating the excuse that they're
too inexperienced to play, thereby never playing, and so on and so forth.�
Don't
forget -- Cowher's the same moron who rotted Joey Porter�.Hines Ward�Amos
Z�.and actually cut Hank Fraley and Dan Kreider.� When he's given PT to greenhorns, it's because he was FORCED to
do it out of grave necessity created by free agency &/or injury.�
The O-line
solution has been staring Cowshit in the face for at least 8 weeks.� He's merely been too blind and stubborn to
see it.� The O-line, from left to right,
should be Nkwenti, Faneca, Hartings, Vincent, and Smith.� Okobi should have his helmet on at all times
to spell Hartings, and should be used in a platoon role if Hartings is really
having a tough time with pain and stamina.�
This all is very similar to what Phantom proposed.� He favored a platoon of Nkwenti/Fordham, but
I've seen enough shitty play from Fordham to sit him down permanently unless
injuries mount.� Like Phantom, I'm in
favor of keeping Faneca at LG.� His
unparalleled skill in pulling, as well as a mauling presence at the point of
attack, is just too scarce to give up.�
As I've stated before, I'm willing to give Simmons another chance
several weeks down the road, but he needs to build up his strength and stamina
before that is even considered.� Ross is
pitiful, but at least he can back up at either tackle spot if an injury
occurs.�
If Smith
cannot play, then Faneca is forced to move to tackle.� A variation to this could have been the use of Vincent at tackle.� Vincent actually has the size, frame length,
and footwork to be able to play tackle, but Cowher�s refusal to even give Vincent
some work at tackle in camp makes this a bridge too far right now.� If Faneca has to play LT, then Okobi must be
the player to come off the bench.� Ross,
Fordham, and Simmons absolutely must sit the bench.�
2.� Use the TE.�
And by TE, I mean Jay Reimersma.�
There's been loads of cries about bringing Stonefoot Bruener back into
the lineup.� The PG's Ted Bouchette even
showed his idiocy by claiming, "The Stillers have a TE who drops TD passes
and can't block."� It's pure
bullshit, but when you have as many media members who have gushed and fawned
all over Bruener the past 9 years, it's to be expected.� It was Reim, not Bruener, who paved the way
for Bettis' game-tying 2-point run.�
We've heard all this sobbing and crying about, "The other teams are
playing Cover 2."� This means the
TE ought to be WIDE OPEN, especially when teams are run blitzing their
LBs.� The problem has been a stodgy
offense that, because they've eschewed using the TE the past 9 years,
feels obligated to ignore the TE once again this season.� The Stillers have stubbornly refused to pass
to their TE and incorporate their TE into the passing game.� It hasn't worked.� Use the damn TE.��
3.� Make the 4WR set a productive, dangerous
set.� The Stillers have used 4 wides, but not that
often, and not with any kind of malice.�
When they've gone 4-wide, it's often been with Reim or Amoz as the 4th
man split wide.� Go 4 wide with 4
WRs.� The lack of WR production
after their 3 top WRs is reprehensible.�
Get a 4th WR -- anyone -- involved in this offense�ASAP.� Lee Mays wowed everyone at camp with his
speed and athleticism, and we all recall him getting open on a deep route in
last year's playoff tilt vs. Tenn.� If
nothing else, Mays ought to be sent DEEP to clear out some room, and he ought
to be thrown a few balls in the process.�
"Cover 2" is not a defensive panacea; it's an excuse.� Like any other defense ever devised, there
are seams and weaknesses to be exploited.�
Exploit it with better creativity and malice from the 4WR set.�
4.� Stop the gutless football in the red zone.�
Every time this team enters the red zone, Cowher's ass puckers up as
tight as Rooney's wallet, and the whole offense goes into bog-down mode.� FatBoy Bettis comes in and runs a plunge or
2, followed by the clever 4-yard crossing pattern or the hitch route at the
6-yard line.� Plex is a physical
mismatch against almost any other DB in the NFL.� Throw him the high ball and let him make the play.� We saw a well-covered Rod Smith still
make the play and snare the ball for the huge TD over DeWayne Washington.� Let Plex TRY to make the same kind of
play.� Plus, there's Chris Doering, who
is far bigger than almost any DB who will be covering him.� It's rather hard to score a TD in the red
zone if you don't TRY to score a TD.�
Mularkey and Cowshit need to stop the gutless mentality and start going
for the jugular in the RZ.�
5.� Use the flare pass.�
As Desi pointed out here earlier this season, the Stillers treat the
flare pass like it�s a biohazard.� Yes,
they flip occasional passes to Amoz or Kreider, but these are almost always
passes in which the RB has his back facing the defense, or is running into the
sidelines, or is at a complete standstill.�
The true flare pass hits the back while he is moving and facing toward
the defense.� And the major recipients
should be Amoz, Haynes, and El, not a fat slowpoke like Bettis.�
Fixing
the Defense:
Most
everyone concentrates on the offense's woes, but the defense has been downright
sorry.� Whatever few good-looking stats
they have, are nothing more than the by-product of facing a rookie QB (Boller) starting
in his first game in the NFL, as well as facing the most decrepit QB in the
NFL, Steve Beuerlein.� The defense has
been soft, cheezy, and about as intimidating and hard-hitting as Mr. Roper on
"Three's Company".� It's time
for some long overdue changes.���
1.� Stop the trigonometry, get back to hitting.�
When it's all boiled down, defense is all about out-hitting the
opposition, and then punishing whoever has the football.� Ask yourself this:� In 6 games, how many bone-jarring, tooth-rattling hits have
you seen by this defense?�� 1?�� Maybe 2?��
Try reciting any of them.�� And
when has a WR been laid out by this defense?�
When has a RB been punished so hard that he stumbled off the field in a
daze?�� When has a QB this season been
brutalized so badly that he limped off the field in agony, with the look of defeat
on his face?�� It ain't happened at all;
not by a long shot.� We all see a
plethora of supersonic, skull-cracking hits on ESPN and the highlight reels,
but not a damn one in SIX games by the Stillers.� That's absolutely pathetic, and coming from a city that prides
its defense, it's downright embarrassing.�
This
defense needs to get out of its paralysis by analysis mode and into a simpler,
seek and destroy mode.� Cowshit is so worried
about defending the spread, that instead of making savvy adjustments, he's got
his players tasked to perform trigonometric calculations before and during each
and every play.� Troy Pola has obviously
been affected the worst by this, but he's by no means alone.� When an entire defense goes 6 games without
registering a single crushing hit on any opposing player, you know this defense
is afflicted with too much thinking and not enough mean-spirited mayhem.� Instead of reacting, this defense needs to start
forcing the issue, with hard-hitting, hell bent play, and all-out hustle to the
football.�
2.� Get the best playmakers on the field.�
Cowshit has once again fallen victim to his self-licking ice cream cone
regarding young, inexperienced players, as well as his cookie-cutter approach
to the 3-4 defense.�
Ike Taylor
should be worked into this defense, along with Pola and Hope.� Burnt Alexander is the league's biggest joke
at FS, yet he continues to start with no end in sight.� The CB who covered Plex Burress last week
has less size, less speed, and less pedigree than Ike Taylor, yet
he was allowed the opportunity to start in lieu of a healthy, Pro Bowl CB.� That's why Shanahan has won 2 Super Bowls and
Cowher hasn't -- nor will he ever -- won any.�
2nd-round rookie Zo Jackson has been banished to wearing street clothes
during the past 4 games, while Larry Foote -- who wouldn't be on the 53-man
roster of at least 28 NFL teams -- gets to dress and play. ��Jackson's quickness, huge wing span, and
uncanny pass rushing instincts would make him a tremendous threat as a pass
rusher on a team desperate for pass pressure, but alas, Billy Cowher's stupid
stubbornness and ass-puckering fear of playing rookies means this player is
banished to bench rot for the rest of the season.��
The LB
corps is the group in the 3-4 that is supposed to be the impact makers
and difference makers.� Of course, as
I'd noted way back last season, Tiny Tim Lewis has this cruel dilemma:� his best pass-rushing LB is his best
coverage LB, and his weakest pass-rushing LB is, by far, his worst coverage LB.� Joey Porter's excellent coverage skills take
him out of far too many rushing chores.�
Opposing offense love seeing Joey back in coverage, much like opponents
love seeing a Jason Giambi laying down a sacrifice bunt, or a Tim Duncan doing
nothing but setting picks, or a Joe Sakic doing nothing but mucking in the
corners on his own end of the ice.� The
enemy of the best is the good.�
While it's nice that Joey is adroit in pass coverage, every time he's
run off into coverage by a decoy is a play in which he cannot strip, hurry, or
punish the QB.� Then there's the
defense's true weak link, and weakest rushing LB and weakest coverage
'backer, Jason GilDong.� James Farrior
is every bit as good -- if not better -- a passrusher as GilDong, who has done
nothing more than weakly tittyfight and loop rush all season long in
pass-rushing chores.� Dropped into
coverage, GilDong is so clumsy a coverage-man, and such a weak, inept
open-field tackler, that the team would be better off using someone like
long-snapper Mike Schneck as a coverage 'backer.� When it comes to liability, Jason GilDong is all
that and more, and because of that, it puts an incredible damper on what the
other 10 men can do on this defense.� Meanwhile,
Farrior arrived in Pittsburgh some 18 months ago, hailed as �The Great Winged
God of LB coverage�, who was going to be a �true 3-down LB� to replace the �2-down
LB�, Earl Holmes.� So what has Farrior
done quite a bit of this season?� He has
sat on the bench, far too often, in passing downs.� Yes, go figure.� �
For true
versatility and all-around hitting, desire, and coverage, Farrior, Porter, and
Bell should never leave the field.�
In a nickel defense, GilDong should be the man to sit down, and in the
dime Kimo or Hampton, along with The Gilded Dong, should be given a
breather.�
Sadly
enough, GilDong's benching will never happen.�
GilDong is doing the equivalent of a clean-up hitter who, 60 games into
a season, is hitting .213 with 3 HRs and 15 RBI.� But Billy Cowher, ever the GilDong lover, is too mulestubborn to
sit down this totally unproductive slacker and insert someone else who will hit
and contribute far more.�
3.� Related to the need to get back to hitting, and
getting playmakers onto the field, the defense needs to start dictating by
tactics and attacking the opponent.� Opposing WRs need
to be jammed and physically punished at the LOS.� The Stillers promulgate the strangest of paradoxes.� They insist on drafting big, strong CBs, yet
then out rightly refuse to allow them to come up once in a while to jam
the piss out of the receiver.� By no
means should the CBs play in-your-face the entire game, but fer chrissakes, it
ought to happen more often than once per month.�
The front 7
needs to ATTACK opposing QBs.�� Prime
example: you saw Tim Slouch sit back in the pocket, sipping tea and nibbling
on crumpets while picking apart our defense at a 90%+ completion rate.� What�s Slouch done in other games?� Nothing.�
He�s been putrid.� He was so
putrid last week that he got BENCHED.� Currently,
the vast majority of our pass rush is a 4-man rush, comprised of GilDong,
Smith, Hampton, and Kimo.� GilDong, as
we all have seen with our very own eyes, has done NOTHING to harass or pressure
against SINGLE blocking, other than looping waaaaay wide, or jousting with the
blocker�s breasts.� Fat Casey Hampton,
between fighting double-teams on running plays and fighting a massive girth, is
too pooped to do anything more on his pass rush than �clog the middle� 1 yard
deep into the backfield.� Smith and Kimo
have been, by far, the most effective harassers out of this 4-man rush, but it�s
obviously not been nearly enough.� Bell
and Porter MUST creatively be used more to rush the passer.� GilDong, as noted above, needs to SIT.� Bailey needs to spell Fat Casey on obvious
passing downs.� Zo Jackson needs to see
work as a pass-rushing specialist.� Ultimately,
Tiny Tim Lewis has to make these adjustments, and then he�s got to build blitz
packages that overwhelm on offense at a decisive center of gravity to produce
harassment & disruption of the QB.� Remember,
I�m not talking about �sacks� � the most over-rated stat in all of pro sports �
I�m talking about harassment and disruption, of which there�s been virtually
NONE this entire season.�
Fixing
the special teams:
1.� Get the best return from the return game.�
This means using Ike Taylor and Freddie Millions on KO returns, and
perhaps using Millons at times on punt returns.� As I've stated time and time again, El is not a kickoff returner,
at all.� And El hasn't exactly been
tearing up the NFL with his punt returns this season, either.�
2.� Establish some headhunting and hitting.�
Like the defense, these spec teams have no malice, no hitting, and no
intensity.� Kreiwalt has been a rare
exception.� It'd be nice to see these
spec teams punish the piss out of an opposing returner, or at least knock an
opposing tackler or blocker into next week.�
It'd be nice to set the tempo and fire up the crowd with a crushing hit
on spec teams.�
Summary:
None of
these fixes are illogical, nor are any of them impossible to implement.� I haven't asked, for example, to replace
Maddox by signing CBS commentator Danny Marino, or moving Plexico to free
safety.�
Fans
shouldn't cry poor, claiming that injury and a lack of talent are the
problem.� Every team has injuries, and
there's no dearth of talent on this roster.�
This roster was easily capable of winning 11 games, especially given the
cream-puff division the Stillers reside in.�
Cowher, ever resistant to change, needs to read the nationwide best
seller, Who Moved My Cheese?�
Dullardly stubbornness hasn't gotten it done thus far in '03.� Changes must be made.� It's up to Marty Jr, Billy Cowher, to make
it happen.�
(Still Mill
and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh
Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 3
Stiller playoff losses�.)