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Loose Slag from The Still Mill

November 11, 2008 by Still Mill

Loose Slag from The Still Mill


It�s been 3 days since the Dolts Debacle, and I�m still seething�.  


- Most of my anger goes toward OC Bruce Arians.  This tool continues to show an overall inability to grasp the situation and all corresponding course of action.  Arians is the kind of myopic, tunnel-visioned dumbass that would be driving to work, and his car would stall out from being out of gasoline.  Rather than diagnose the problem, he�d throw his hands up and claim, �Well, I cannot go to work, so I must go home.�  All the while, his car is 40 feet from his place of work and there�s a gas station right across the street.


            I�ve written more than any national-read coverage about the gross incompetence of Arians.  Several weeks ago, I wrote a piece titled, �Bruce Arians -- Identity Unknown�.   To date, we still have no idea as to what the identity of this offense is.  This is an offensive coordinator, so clueless as to situation and mitigating factors and his offensive identity that, on Sunday, he called for a stupid-assed, high risk seam route from his own 16 on 3rd & 2 with only 90 seconds remaining in the 1st half, up by TEN points and the opponent down to just 1 TO.  In retrospect, the assaholic Arians Abortion designed rollout to the left -- with no intended receiver -- that Arians called last year in the playoff loss to Jax would have been a wiser choice in this situation, not withstanding Ben�s bad shoulder.  The asininity of this playcall, given the situation, was simply reprehensible.  Arians has been an utter failure EVERYWHERE he�s been, to include Temple and Cleveland, and he simply needs to be fired. 


            The Neanderthal playcalling in the 4Q was equally assaholic.  The 1st down plunge was acceptable.  Moore gained 4 to set up 2nd & goal at the 1.  Moore hand already scored on 2 prior plunges.  The Colts were going to throw the kitchen sink to stop another one. 2nd and G at the 1 is a GOLDEN situation to be in, as you can call all sorts of plays -- boots, rollouts, sweeps, stretches, pop passes, throwbacks, and more.  You�ve got trusty Hines Ward, plus 6-7� TE Matt Spaeth.  Like the bland, Crayola dumfuk that he is, Arians calls for not 1, but 2 more plunges with the smallish Moore, and Indy stops both of them to force a FG.  Of the Steelers' third-down run up the middle, Colts coach Tony Dungy said, "Everybody knew what the play was going to be, and we came off and stuffed it."  Said DT Eric Foster, "They ran the same running play six times in a row in that situation [Moore scored on two of them]"


            Then there was the popgun, mickey mouse offense, which ran an NFL record number of piss-ant little slants and curls.  This, despite the fact the Dolts were starting Keiwan Ratliff at CB, who was sitting at home in Cincinnati three weekends ago, jobless and watching NFL games on television, as well as Tim Jennings at the other CB.  Arians was so fearful and terrified of the Dolt secondary that he dared go deep -- and by deep I mean a pass in the air longer than 25 yards -- only once, and that was on a sloppy-assed flea flicker.  I don�t want to hear any caterwauling about the Dolts Cover 2 �umbrella�, either.  Not with SS Bob Sanders flying up to the LOS every time the QB even motioned the pigskin toward the belly of a RB.  There is no �umbrella� when you run PLAY ACTION fakes and draw the SS up on the fake.  Of course, Arians has no concept of PLAY ACTION, or seizing the vacancy created by an opponent�s aggressiveness.  He is utterly, absolutely clueless. 


            As Joe Starkey pointed out in the TR, the Steelers have attempted passes on 11-of-12 third-and-2s. Four of those resulted in sacks. On another, late in the first half Sunday, Ben Roethlisberger threw a game-changing interception.  AS I have pointed out repetitively this season, nearly all of these 3d & 2's have been out of the SHOTGUN formation.  Remember, Arians has the love affair with the 2-TE formation, which is supposed to give an offense BOTH the ability to pound the ball as well as hit the TE with quick, easy passes, out of a formation with the QB under center and executing play-action passes.   Again, though, because there is no identity, Arians cluelessly pulls plays out of a grab-bag. 


- I�m also seething as to Tomlin�s decision to go with Ben, despite the guy not practicing until Friday and clearly not anywhere near physically healthy.  When you have a slumping QB missing the vast majority of practice time, and is not in good health, the coach needs to sit that QB for the good of the team.  Tomlin�s actions are contradictory in this regard.  He deactivated Tonio Holmes after a mid-week drug bust, even though Holmes was merely charged, not proven guilty, and even though Holmes had practiced and was healthy.  Then there�s OLB LeMarr Woodley, who missed the game because of a bad calf.   "LaMarr is a young guy. He's not the kind of guy who can miss quality practice reps and show up at the stadium and play winning football," Tomlin said. "He wasn't able to practice, so we went with Lawrence Timmons."  Woodley misses practice and therefore is not allowed to play, but BenRoth, with a bum shoulder, misses 80% of practices in the most important, most cerebral position in all of pro football, and Tomlin allows him to play.  Go figure. 


- "Once I saw the ball, I thought I tipped it my way, but he was right in position to catch the ball," Taylor said.   Note to Ike -- stop tipping the fucking ball like a setter on a volleyball team, and start either CATCHING it, or at the very least, batting it DOWNWARDS.  


- "That was my man," inside linebacker James Farrior admitted of the Colts' winning touchdown. "I had him man-to-man, they ran a fake toss to him.  I thought (duh-uh) it was a running play. He slipped out of the backfield, and I kind of sorta lost track of him. That wasn't Troy's fault."  What a complete dumbass.  �I kind of sorta lost track of him��  


- Any word on if Colbert has offered Farrior yet another contract extension??


- Funny how no mention has been made by anyone, anywhere, about Ryan Clark�s pathetic, weak-assed tackle attempt on Reggie Wayne, which allowed Wayne to gallop the final 20 yards for his 65-yard TD.  Clark is the FREE SAFETY.  He supposed to be the last line of defense.  By the time the ball hung in the air for multiple seconds, and then was batted about, Clark should have been all over Wayne.  Instead, he loafed, and they gave a weak, half-assed tackle attempt that Wayne easily skirted.  It was a shit play by a shit player. 


- Larry Timmons made his first pro start at left outside linebacker in Woodley's place. Timmons moved to his familiar spot at inside linebacker in the nickel, and Brett Keisel moved to left end in that formation, where Woodley normally would be. Travis Kirschke played Keisel's spot at right end in the nickel.  Keisel, it should be noted, did NOTHING in terms of rushing the passer from the left end spot.  NOTHING.   A complete dud.   Note to Dullard Dick LeBeau -- let�s shitcan this boneheaded scheme, pronto. 


-  OT Marvel Smith (back) will "potentially" practice this week, Tomlin said.  What he didn't say was that Smith will potentially practice random card games, chess, backgammon, and might do an aggressive therapy with his Wii video game.  Needless to say, Smith�s gimpy, achy back has made at least 1 FA decision -- his -- as easy as pie for Colbert come March. 


- With Townsend injured with a hammy, Colbert had to sign a CB.  Colbert immediately focused on his favorite farm club -- the Detroit Lions -- and signed Fernando Bryant.  Might not be a bad signing, but it�d be nice if Colbert spent at least another 20 minutes looking all around the league before making an acquisition via speed-dial with the Lions. 


- With Max Starks continuing to struggle and show little tenacity & intensity, isn�t it about time Trai Essex got a look?  Essex has started before and is perfectly capable of stepping in and performing.  Complacency is a surefire recipe for mediocrity; it�s time Tomlin eradicated complacency by using capable players in lieu of slackly starters.  Tomlin has shown a mulestubborn demeanor that Billy Cowhard would be proud of.  



Still Mill and -- �When it comes to the analysis of the Pittsburgh Stillers, no one else comes close�.�


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