Loose Slag from The Still Mill (Oct 14th, 2003)
�some loose
slag from the loss to the Yoncos�.
- Having scrubbed the tape (unlike 99.9% of the Pittsburgh
media), I can vouch that the O-line play was, once again, absolutely
horrendous.� Pure vomit.� Leading the way in poor play was none other
than RG Kendall Simmons, whose new nickname is "2 Fingers".� Twice he gave up sacks when he got no more
than 2 fingers on a DT that was lined up right over him.� Tackles are often out in space, on an
island, but guards are in tight enough quarters that they should at least be
able to bump into a DT and slow him down by at least a second.� Not 2 Fingers Simmons.� He got abused so badly on some pass plays that
he provided no more impediment than a dandelion sprouting from the grass
surface.�
What burns me up about the Simmons situation is that this
was not some sudden injury that he sustained, for example, in the season
opener.� His diabetic condition was
confirmed on JULY 26th, some six weeks before opening day.� Moreover, he had ELBOW SURGERY on June
11th.� Does this sound like a man who
should have been handed the starting job on a silver platter?�� Does this sound like a position that should
have had a "Plan B" and "Plan C" developed and implemented
not later than, oh, about July 28th ??� Does this sound like a hobbled player who should have been on a
very short leash?� Instead, Billy
Cowher, in classic head in the sand management that is his forte', did NOTHING
to address the RG spot.� Terrified at
the thought of starting a talented but unproven THIRD-year player, he rushed
Simmons back into the lineup for the Eagles preseason game (game #2) and Billy
immediately tossed aside any thoughts of seriously giving starting work to a
Keydrick Vincent or a Chuki Okobi.�
Simmons stunk in the season opener; nothing from Cowher.� Simmons stunk in game #2; nothing.� Simmons stunk in game #3; still
nothing.� Simmons stunk in game #4; no
moves by Cowshit.� Simmons stunk in game
#5; nothing from Cowher.� Finally, in
game #6, after 2 Fingers Simmons gets his QB crushed on 2 pathetic sack
give-ups, Billy Cowher finally had seen enough.� Nearly 37% of the season had to transpire before the dimbulb
would overcome his HATRED of playing ANYONE who has never proven himself to
Billy, and finally inserting someone to replace Simmons.� "We were just trying to find a
combination that would work,' Marty Jr. said. "So we explored every option
possible." That game of musical chairs that Billy Cowher played on
Sunday should have been played way back in AUGUST, not October.�
�But remember, as the Pittsburgh media has reminded us time and time again, it's not Billy Cowher's fault that this team is 2-4 and headed for the shitter.� No, sirree, it's not his fault.� It's the refs.� It's the players.� It's the turnovers.� It's the penalties.� It's the special teams.� It's the offensive line.�� It's everything and everybody else's fault, but most assuredly, it's not Billy Cowher's fault.��
- Forget
all the rah-rah bullshit about "we almost won" and "we played
them close" and Billy Cowher's favorites, "I was very
proud of the way we battled" and "This is a step in the right
direction".� Aside from the fact that Denver had
to play with a decrepit, rusty, sub-par player at the MOST important position
on the football field, this was precisely the kind of game that good teams win,
and loser teams lose. Denver had a tough, emotional game against a good
KC team last week.� They came down from
an emotional high and took the Stillers lightly.� "We almost won" and "we battled hard" are the
rallying cries of teams that finish 6-10.
- There are a few useful possibilities for a new starting
O-line.� Let me help cut to the
solution: the starting lineup should not include anyone named
Simmons, Fordham, or Ross. Working from this standpoint helps eliminate the
clutter and get to a workable solution.�
These 3 men have all had their chance, and they've all stunk like owl
shit.� Now it's time to give other
players a shot.� Simmons deserves
another look once, and only once, he is fully healthy and at full strength
& stamina.�
- Vincent's penalty came on the trick play in which El and
Ward botched the handoff on the reverse.�
Vincent came over and tried to make something good out of a horrible
situation.� This wasn't your typical
illegal block call -- no botched handoff, no illegal blocking penalty -- and
Vincent shouldn't be sent to the doghouse because of it.��
- Mularkey had another weak game.� I'd already commented on many of his gaffes in my post-game
report.� There are a few more things
that deserve mention, such as:
����������� - 2d &
goal on the 9, 1st series.� Bettis is
the lone back, and he goes in motion out wide and into some pass pattern.� This is simply stone-stupid offensive
tactics.� Fat Boy Bettis in a pass
pattern is about as useless as installing a toilet on the ceiling rather than
the floor.� If you want to pass in the
red zone, this team has all kinds of choices -- Plex, Ward, El, Doering, Reim, Tuman,
Haynes, even Bruener.� Anybody but
Bettis.�
����������� - On the
next foray into the RZ, on 2nd & goal at the 9, Burress caught a little
piss-ant 3-yard crosser.� On 3d & 5
at the Denver 5, Mularkey's brilliance had Haynes and El going into short
little patterns, each ending up 5 feet from one another at the 3-yard
line.� (See pic, below.)� Stupid, gutless, and asinine.� In fact, over the course of the game, the
Stillers threw the ball into the end zone exactly ONCE, to Jay Reim.� This is one reason why Denver scored 17
points and Mularkey's offense scored 14, despite a 3-1 turnover difference in
favor of the Stillers.�
� 
����
����������� - On 3d
& 1 at the Donco 42 in the 3Q, Mularkey the Genius totally eschewed both
power football and the play-action pass, going with a shotgun instead.� Maddox, of course, was sacked by a hell-bent
defense that figured the run was being ruled out on this play.� What's really interesting is that, faced
with a similar 3d & 1 on his own 45 in the 2Q, Mularkey plunged Bettis, and
then followed with another Bettis plunge on 4th & inches.� 3d & 1 on the opponent's 42-yard line is
pretty much 4-down territory.� Bettis
had been effectively plunging the ball for good short-yardage gains.� Ergo, Mularkey had 2 choices here:� plunge Bettis on this 3d &1, or FAKE the
Bettis plunge and hit a TE or FB for an easy completion.� Clearly, the dumbassed choice that had no
merit -- especially with the way this O-line was pass-blocking and the very
fact that Maddox has no chance to scramble for the 1st down himself --
was to go into the SHOTGUN.�� Mularkey
should be drawn & quartered for this flagrant act of imbecility.�
����������� - The total
lack of urgency on that final drive was unbelievable.� Remember, the Stillers had to make a 2-pointer, and if they
failed, they had to either try an onsides KO or hope for a quick 3-and-out from
Denver.� But the entire offense slogged
along, moseying back to the huddle and whiling away time like a grandma on a
lazy Sunday afternoon.� The 74-yard
drive started at 9:16 and ended at 2:45.�
Had Bettis not scored on the 2-pointer, Denver would have easily salted
the clock down to about 1:15 after punting (assuming they plunged 3 times and
failed to get a 1D).� At 4 yards per
pass play -- which is about the rate Mularkey likes to move the ball in the air
this season -- there's no way the Stillers could have crossed midfield, much
less gotten into FG range.�
�- As many folks might
have seen, Doughboy Bettis was carrying the ball with his INSIDE (ie, his
right) hand on the running play to the left in which he fumbled.� He probably does this in practice, and given
the woeful attention to detail that this coaching staff has, he was never
corrected.�
- Wonder why Burnt Alexander dropped that easy INT at game's
end?� He JUMPED when he had no need to,
that's why.� Remember
this boneheaded play the next time you hear Little Billy and Tiny Tim blather
on and on about what a mental genius of a football player Burnt Alexander is at
safety.�
- Unhappy with the vet's play, Denver
coach Mike Shanahan sat Pro Bowl CB Deltha O'Neal this past Sunday and started little-known
Kelly Herndon, an undrafted little CB from Toledo who'd bounced around from SF and
the NYG.� That's a major difference
between a Shanahan and Little Billy.��
Shanahan isn't afraid to sit under performing veterans and using youth
in their place.� Billy Cowher is so terrified
of the thought that his sphincter puckers tighter than a drum and he throat nearly
shuts, thereby shutting off oxygen flow to the brain.� That's why slouches like Fordham, GilDong, Alexander, and others
play, and promising youngsters ROT the bench.�
�
- Funny how both major Pittsburgh papers praised and gushed
over Josh Miller for "excellent punting" in this Donco game.� Yes, Josh's punting was so excellent that twice
he boomed punts into the EZ for touchbacks; once in the 2Q and once in the
4Q.� In such a tight game, it would have
been nice to pin the Doncs back on their own 4-yard line, but thanks to Josh,
we never did.�
- Randle El's shiftiness and quickness is a great asset as a
returner�.a PUNT returner, that is.�
Unfortunately, his style is not conducive at all to KO returns.� Ike Taylor has what you need in a KO
returner -- reckless, north-south speed.�
Spare me any Dante Hall comparisons.�
Although Hall likes to dance on PRs, on KO returns Hall sees a hole and
then runs like a demon, with no juking or stuttering.� If Billy Cowshit is going to rot Freddie Millions all season by
not even allowing the guy to dress, then he should at least have enough brains
to make Ike Taylor the man on kickoff returns.
- It is universally recognized that the first step in the
problem solving process is to DEFINE the problem.� Only then can one then go about solving the problem.� Allow me to help: Billy Cowher.�
- Alonzo Jackson was a no-dress for the 4th week in a
row.� The guy makes a blunder on spec
teams coverage -- as if no one else on a Cowher-coached team ever does -- and
now he's in Cowshit's doghouse, banished to wearing street clothes for the rest
of the season.� Gee, it sure is nice for
a 2nd-round draft pick to ROT, while 2nd rounders all over the league are ON
THE FIELD, making an impact.� When it
comes to player development, no one does less than Lil' Billy Cowher.�
(Still Mill
and Stillers.com -- the only nationally read coverage on the Pittsburgh
Stillers that has accurately predicted the how's and the why's of the past 3
Stiller playoff losses�.)