Bye Week Beat
Random Rants by PalmerSucks
October 31, 2009
Jonesing for the Stillers this bye weekend? �Grab a six of Irons and head for your nearest DVR. But first, check out these little musings.
As I said in the Vikes game preview:
�Of course, this being October still, we should expect the good Favre. The Stiller D, criticized of late, remains stubborn in the most important stat category of all: points allowed. This means bend, don�t break, and no prob for Favre to connect as long as the TDs are held to a minimum.�
And so we did get the better Favre, who put up a 300-yarder against the Stillers last Sunday. �Don�t let that fool you, though, as most of those yards came between the twenties, and the defense continued to hold the opposition�s scoring down.
The fact that that Minnesota�s offense put up a paltry 10 points should�ve meant this one was a cakewalk, but wasn�t, thanks to a DUMBFUCK game plan that outlawed any pass over 10 yards. This DUMBFUCK strategy meant the Stillers refused to hit the Vikings at their weakest point � their pass D -- specifically, Karl Paymah, Antoine Winfield�s understudy, who had been lit up by stinkin� Joe Flacco the week before.
Of course, the Stillers promptly ignored Paymah like a hot chick at a gay bar. �Out went the deep ball, in came the 3-step drop � what, are the Stillers that terrified of Minnesota�s pass rush? �Even if they were, it should�ve become apparent things would be fine as Max Starks turned Jared Allen into a non-factor. �But no, the DUMBFUCK Stillers offense went back to the dink-dunk even after Benji had tossed the deep TD pass right before the half. �With a DUMBFUCK plan that had Roethlisberger stand there like a statue, tossing the short stuff all afternoon.
Mind you, a 27-17 win over a 6-0 squad is perfectly acceptable � but not when you need two scores on defense to do it. �Had the Stillers not called such a DUMBFUCK game, the offense could�ve put up four TDs itself.
You want something to panic over? How about the so-called �kickoff coverage�? That�s 2 TDs to the opposition in two weeks � unacceptable. Why there isn�t more of an outcry over this I can�t understand. Oh and next Monday? Eddie Royals. Maybe I shouldn�t have spoken so soon.
Now that the Bungals are winning, I�ve been hearing a lot of �looks like Carson Palmer�s finally back� talk, which, as you can imagine, irritates me no end. That�s Carson Palmer, the Choker, the Gagger, the Throat Roadblock, the Heimlich Pirate. Believe me, the Bungals success has nothing to do with Cornholio, and everything to do with their NUMBER ONE RUNNING GAME. Just as it did back in �05.
Don�t believe me? Here are some numbers for you to ponder:
Rudi Johnson������������������������� Carson Palmer��������������������������� Bengals Record
Yr.�������� Yds.���������������������������� Yr.��� Rating
2004��� 957������������������������������ 2004�� 77.3������������ �����������������������8-8
2005��� 1454���������������������������� 2004��� 101.1�������������������������������� 11-5������
2006��� 1458��������������������������� 2006��� 93.9����������������������������������� 8-8
2007��� 497�������������������������� ���2007��� 86.7����������������������������������� 7-9���
Surprise, surprise: Palmer�s rating rises and falls with Johnson�s yard output almost to a tee. Nor does Palmer�s performance by itself drive the Bengals� record, as they finished with a worse record in �07 than �04, a year when Palmer�s rating was actually higher.
It was Rudi Johnson who was driving the Bengals� offensive success back then, just as Cedric Benson�s doing now. The fact is, Palmer can�t carry a team with his arm alone, unlike say, Ben Roethlisberger, who�s actually led the Stillers through playoff runs with Willie Parker averaging a miserable under-3-yards a carry (as he did back in �05). The Texans stopped Benson a couple weeks ago, and Palmer couldn�t overcome them. �This is a guy who is carried by his running game. Will they never learn? The true �game manager� QB has always been Carson Palmer.
Yeah, I know it�s early, but I�m going to say the winner of next year�s Bowl comes from the AFC again. Looks like the N.Y. Giants have taken a step down (for those of you keeping score in the Ben-Eli debate, Ben�s done fine without Burress, Eli� not so much.)
Likewise after Sunday, I think the N.O. Saints are nothing if not overrated. Sure, the TV types are all over the great �comeback� (which only happened because Miami, like a bunch of DUMBFUCKS, abandoned the Wildcat which was crushing the life out of the Saints). What I see, though, is a defense that�s been exposed to anyone with the will to stick with their running game.
Question, comment or threat? Send �em off to email@example.com. Sorry if I can�t answer every one personally, of course.
(The views of PalmerSucks are not necessarily those of Stillers.com, but should be.)