The home of die hard Pittsburgh Steelers fans. It's not just a team, it's a way of life!

The Gildong Report (Game #9, vs. Jax)

November 19, 2001 by Still Mill


The GilDong Report (Game #9, vs. Jax.)

In light of many a fan being bamboozled and ga-ga over Jason Gildong's 11 sacks in '98 --- despite only 2 being anywhere near "earned sacks" --- I've devoted considerable time the past 2 seasons to monitor the work of the exceptionally average Jason Gildon. Gildon, as you may recall, hoodwinked enough voters in '00 to be voted in to a reserve spot in the Pro Bowl. Jason has been famous enough with his coverage sacks, flop sacks, the QB-slipped-on-the-wet-turf sacks, the OT totally forgot his blocking assignment sacks, and so on, that the NFL designated a new statistic, called the "Dong Sack™", in honor of Jason Gildong. (Some fantasy football leagues are incorporating this into their point systems.) Again in '01, I'll take time to expose Jason Gildon for the fraud that he truly is.

Gildon, coming off a good "paper" game last week in Cleveland in which he compiled a bunch of paper stats while getting manhandled most of the day, returned to his typical Casper the Friendly Ghost role with a feeble, virtually non-existent game against the Jaguars in which he was no more noticeable than the ballboy who picks up the kicking tee after each kickoff.

Big Jason Gildon, who supposedly is a monster OLB, had exactly 1 assist and zero solos through 59 and one-half minutes of play, before recording a meaningless solo with 30 seconds remaining and the Stillers up by a comfy 13 points. This will be a short Dong Report, because, when you're writing an article on a player who did nothing, there consequently isn't much more than nothing to write about.

Jason recorded his only assist at 3:21 of the 3rd quarter, on a 2d & 22. Jax QB Jon Quinn scrambled up the middle, and Aaron Smith, Gildon, and Holmes converged on the lumbering Quinn for the stop. Holmes and Gildon were credited with the assists on this 3-yard play.

This was it for Big Jason, the supposed pro bowler, until 0:34 of the 4Q. With the ball at the Pit 45, this was officially garbage time, and Jason looped around right tackle Maurice Williams for a 9-yard sack. On the play, the clumsy Williams barely got the extreme edges on his fingertips on Big Jason, who then looped around for the sack. The committee spent considerable time mulling over this meaningless garbage sack. Given the fact that Williams failed to get anything more than the edge of his fingernails on Jason, and given the fact that this was in the game's waning seconds in pure garbage time, this is ruled a Dong Sack, as it fully meets the criteria established by the NFL and approved by the NFLPA.

There weren't too many plays that Jason was personally involved with. For starters, the Jags were missing Fred Taylor. And the Jags ran well over a dozen plays in which nobody was assigned to block Big Jason off the snap. And since Jason shied from contact the entire game, there simply isn't much to report on.

- On the Jags' 2nd series, at 9:28 of the 1Q, Jason came in on a pass rush. As you can see in the photos below, nobody touches Jason off the ball; instead, the Jags were content to use a guard to come over and scrape in a "just in case" role. Just to clarify -- Jason wasn't on the strong side of the formation; he wasn't chip blocked by a TE or a FB; and he wasn't being engaged at all at the line of scrimmage. Gildon is barely fingertipped by RG Zack Weigert, and that, along with Gildon's usual duckfooted clumsiness and athletic inability, causes Jason to stumble by the statuesque Quinn, who then scrambled left and gained 7 yards.


- At 10:27 of the 3Q, on a 2nd and 9, Jason was flagged for jumping offsides.

- At 11:27 of the 4Q, on a 1st & 10, Jax RB S. Mack ran the ball up RT. Rather than being up on the LOS, Gildon was just off the line in a short zone setup. Upon seeing the running play coming right at him, Jason moved with all the speed of a glacier, tip-toeing meekly and slowly. The pulling guard crumpled Jason as Jason -- generally regarded as one of the most polite block-acceptors in the league -- willfully accepted the block. Mack gained 6 yards on a play where Gildon was soft, weak, and feeble.

At 6:35 of the 4Q, on a 1st & 10 from the Jax 10, Quinn hit Mack with a short flare in the right flat. Jason was in a short zone on this play, and this pass lay to Mack was RIGHT IN FRONT of Jason. But, as is his nature, Jason came up passively, feebly, and with no more urgency than a death-row inmate trudging to the electric chair, and the result was Mack being able to easily dash right past a flatfooted and flailing Gildon and turning what should have been, at most, a 7-yard gain into a 19 yard gain.

There were some noteworthy plays by real defensive players, which are worthy to include here for comparison's sake in the Gildong Report.

- On a 3rd & 12 on the game's first series, Mike Logan blitzed up thru the RT/RG of the Jaguar line, and vaulted himself kamikaze-style toward the QB. Logan ended up batting the pass. (see pics, below).


This sequence is mentioned here, for all those Gildong fans who have fawned over Jason for his batted passes. Note the difference between Logan's bat, and nearly all of Jason's bats --- Logan is going hell bent after the QB, and is actually deep in to the opposing backfield in a mode of harassment and disruption. Jason's bats come when he's 2 inches into the enemy backfield and is getting mauled and manhandled. More importantly, notice the reckless abandon and total disregard for the body that is shown by Logan. The RB sees Logan and comes up to make the hit, but Logan never slows down and vaults himself toward the QB. Last week, as you may recall, Jason had a chance to do something similar to a RB in one-on-one blocking, and instead Jason meekly did the Wide Loop Rush around Lil' James Jackson.

- There's also the Kendrell Bell sack. On this play (see pics below) Bell came in on Jags center Jeff Smith and in Photo 2, 3 & 4, knocks Smith (blue arrow) onto his ass, and then vaulted himself into Quinn, thus jarring the ball and giving the Stillers a critical turnover. (Unfortunately, this play isn't done justice with still photos.)



THIS IS STILLER LINEBACKING ! And the reason this is mentioned here in the forum of the Gildon Report, is that Bell -- along with his cohorts Porter and Holmes -- plays with this kind of fiery, hard-hitting, reckless abandon, while The Paper Tiger, Jason Gildong, meekly tip-toes around the field and throws hits around as often as a placekicker. Jason Gildong has been in the NFL for 7 seasons now, and not once has he ever bowled an opposing lineman onto his ass in the manner than Kendrell Bell did this past Sunday.

In summary, this was yet another Casper the Ghost effort from the vaunted Gildon. In a fit of feebleness, Jason got all of one assist, and a meaningless junk sack near the end of regulation in garbage time. Of course, this is nothing new for Big Jason this season, as he has had games this year that have fully met the criteria of "feeble" and "pathetic". Jax-1 -- 1 solo & 1 assist. Cinci-1 -- 1 solo. Tampa -- 1 solo. And then this meager, feeble-assed game against a decimated Jaguar team. Of course, any astute fan should have expected this from Jason, since last week's Gildong Report prophetically ended with, "However, if his history is anything to go on, I suspect this will be a one-week occurrence, after which the Paper Tiger will quietly continue with his weak-kneed play."

Season to date totals for Jason, in 9 games:

Earned Sacks: 2
Dong Sacks™: 5
Strips, Jars, fumbles caused: 2

Like this? Share it with friends: Follow me on Twitter: