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Stillers-Niners Postgame Analysis and Grades

September 23, 2019 by Still Mill

69ers 24, Stillers 20….Sep 22, 2019…………Game # 3


Stillers-Niners Postgame Analysis and Grades


The Stillers again slopped around, leaving loads of points off the board after numerous gratuitous Niner give-aways. The Stillers actually had a late 4Q lead, but true to the so-called leadership of their vaunted head coach, they wilted and folded late in the 4Q, allowing the Niners a rather cake-easy winning TD. 



QB:   In his first NFL start, Rudy was scattershot most of the game, albeit with an asinine horizontal passing game.    Had nice TD strikes to Ju and Diontae.     Threw a hideous INT, and needs to play a bit better.    C+




Conner – didn’t do much, but was having, by far, his best game of the season.   They he choked and coughed up the ball late in the 4Q on his own 25 or so, setting up SF for the winning TD.   Unacceptable.    D+  


Samuels - never once permitted to carry the ball, nor catch it.  Go figure.  


Snell - had 3 plunges for 6 yards.



Nix sat out with the knee. 



Switzer – Didn’t see much PT, if any, and had no grabs.


JuJu – had a very quite game, until the 2H catch and run for a 76 yard TD.  Still, not nearly enough.   C+


Wash - had 2 grabs for 14.    Not nearly enough.


D. Johnson - in his first NFL start, had 3 grabs for 52, including a TD.  


Holton - no grabs. 


Moncrief -  Clang!!   Thankfully, Mr. Skillet Hands was inactive.



Grimble - had 1 grab for a whopping 3 yards.


McDonald - had 1 grab for 10 before bowing out with a shoulder injury.  


OL:  Overall, the line played mediocre on a  day when their young QB needed strong protection.    The running game was sporadic and far too often there was pressure on the QB.       C 



Heyward – once again, Scam Heyward did jack shit.   His clever acting did help draw 2 flags.   Perhaps he should move on to his life’s work as an actor.  C-


Tuitt – just as he always does, he came out a house afire, with a sack on the 2nd series.    Did nothing else the rest of the half.   Had 2 successive stuffs early  in the 3Q, and again, was rarely heard from again.   B-


Hargrave - Chipped in on scorehseet, but far too often, the SF RB was able to get 4 yards before 1st contact.  He’s rapidly becoming a fat-assed waddler who does nothing of any impact.  C


Alu and McSwallers - did very little.     C- 



Vinnie – sat out with the injured ham.


Barron -  remember last week, when he played a ton of snaps and had a whopping 2 solos??    He “bested” that this week, with ONE solo all game long, despite being on the field for pretty much every snap.   He was wretched in coverage and worse in run stuffing.   Was also flagged for a huge holding flag late in the game to help snatch defat from victory.  A complete waste of oxygen.     F


Bush - led the team with 9 solos, but not enough of them were stuffing the run on SHORT gains, and his pass coverage is again shoddy and poor.   Did have 2 fumble recoveries.   C+


Chickillo - thankfully was deactivated for this game. 


Watt – Had a bit of a quiet solid game, with only 2 solos and a Dong INT that fell into his lap.   SF had agood success running at him and around him.    Not pleased.     C


Crud Dupree – Mostly did nothing, with 3 solos, 2 on slop stops while facing a ROOKIE sixth rounder.   Had 1 adequate RB stuff.   Had a chance to sack the QB in the 4Q, but got shrugged off like a toddler.    D+




Haden – a so-so game.     Gave up some receptions. C


Nelson - poor game.  Got picked on, and allowed 18 feet of cushion on far too many pass attempts.   C-


Davis - On IR (thankfully) for another 7 weeks.    


Hilton – had some struggles, didn’t have any impact and was often a step slow.     C


Edmunds - more vomit.   Sure, he recorded an array of slop stops on the stat sheet.   His consistency at being consistently a good 13 feet from the ball as it arrives is maddening.   He’s another Mike Bitchell, never making a play on an aerial football.     D+


Minkah - very solid first game, with an INT and a FF.   The INT wasn’t Troy-like, but still, any other safety on this roster would have been19 feet from that ball.   If we had about 5 more of this fellow, we might be able to cobble together a decent D.       A-


Spec teams:  

Jordan Berry –  punted okay, although he boomed one pooch punt into the EZ.   B+


Boswell - 2 for 2 on FGs.   Not bad.    


OC:  Randy Sphincter had yet another dogshit game.  The offense started this fiasco with a SG, no-run, throw it horizontal kind of scheme, pissing away GOLDEN FP deep in SF territory.   Sphincter finally allowed Mason to throw the bal further than 9 yards downfield in the 2H, and the O did score 2TDs.   Perhaps Ray Sherman is a bad influence while serving as the WR coach, because this offense hasn’t been this putrid since Shermy was the OC in the late 90s’ .    D-



Keith Assler once had his ass handed back to him by a competent offense.   Sure, 2 of the 3TDs in the 2H were short fields, but once again, Assler couldn’t get the fuk off the field on key 3rd downs. His front 7 got gashed repeataedly on outside zone running plays.  Don’t be fooled by the 5 turnovers…..four of them were freebie gifts caused by SF gaffes.  The man is a proven dullard, with no hope in sight.    D


HC:  Mike Asslin oversaw another slopfest, with a Cro Magnon offensive game plan, and a vanilla defense that was once again soft, timid, meek, and inept. It all starts at the top, and no one does less, with more, than Mike Asslin.   Looks like its high time Michael The Almighty moves on to his life’s work, presumably as a WalMart greeter.   Clearly, Michael is a turd, and ya can’t polish a turd.    F


Synopsis:  Now 0-3 and going nowhere fast.   They get Cinci, at home, next week, but at this point, it’s a reach o think this bumbling team can take care of business against an equally hapless Cinci team.


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